DioEnglish.com

Title: Should i be totally obedient to my parents? [Print]

Author: youthy Time: 2009-7-29 21:10
Title: Should i be totally obedient to my parents?
Eight years ago when i was a sophemore, i met my boyfriend. He was a little shy when talking with me but quite talktive and cheerful with his old friends. Both of us made each other a good first impression. So we kept in touch each day, calling, meeting, learning together, morning reading together, taking sports together... in a word, we nearly did everything side by side. One year later, i accepted his pursuit and became his girlfriend. This is our first love and we didn't have any experience towards our parents. With delight, i led him to meet my parents in the fourth year in university, thinking my parents can accept my boyfriend. Unfortunately, the first meeting was unhappy, the reason of my parents was that we couldn't fall in love when we were still students.  We had to part with love still going on.
  After graduation, i started my career as a teacher in a senior high school while my boyfriend didn't find a job. i worked at a place far away from my hometown, feeling lonely and helpless. My boyfriend often came to visit me, which made me feel safe and dependable.  In that summer vocation, we referred to our plan of marriage with my parents, but they still didn't accept my boyfriend, saying that he didn't have any job, which could be harmful to our marriage and family. Again, we had to part with love still going on.
He got a good job in my hometown one year later and i obtained my master's degree after two years, and according to the contract, i had to work in the same school for two years. But time wait for no man and we planed to go to the same place after two years. i rementioned my boyfriend to my parents, but they were extremely angry hearing his name, saying we now were not at the same level and above all, we were not at the same place! They strongly damanded me to part with my boyfriend forever because they said they couldn't foresee my happiness with my boyfriend! This is what happened a week before.
Every time my parents didn't accept my boyfriend--namely, we have been boyfriend and girlfriend for nearly eight years, but actually the time we have been together was no more than one year after graduation. Worst of all, my parents never gave us any opportunity to talk love under a peaceful environment! In order to separate us, every possible poor adjective  has been applied to modify the very boy in my heart. So to speak, every time i listen to my parents with my heart bleeding. I also expressed my love and opinion on love to my parents, but they didn't care about my emotions at all! It seems that i should always be obedient to them, only this can i be a good girl to them; only this can i be a sister to my sisters and brothers; only this can i still be their daughter! Every time my boyfriend and i got a progress, they always have the reason to oppose us!
i don't want to see my parents' heart- broken expression, on the other hand, i am not willing to hurt my boyfriend. Above all, we have true love with each other, and we can't imagine what it will be like if we have to find another one to live with. The fight lasted for nearly eight years with he and i being the failures, which cannot but discourage both of us!
Now i am in the dilemma. Dear readers, if you were me, how will you tackle this hot potato? Please give me your kind suggestions, thanks a lot!

Author: Mamba Time: 2009-7-30 10:14
If i were you,i'll hold this love tightly.As love is something that you can meet with but can not ask for,especially for true love,we must keep and cherish it or we'll definitely be repentant when we do lose it.Whatever the difficulties we encounter,as long as there's always a faith in our heart, i believe nothing would be a threat. Bless you and your bf could be together eventually.

Author: viky Time: 2009-7-30 10:17
so sorry to hear that .....u'r so pitty!

Author: youthy Time: 2009-7-30 10:46
Thank you for your support and understanding! i really feel more comfortable seeing your reply.

Author: 小莫 Time: 2009-7-30 14:03
I have imagined before if my parents won't accept my boyfriend, I won't get married until they accept him, although I won't fight with my parents about that. I don't know why your parents won't accept your boyfriend, since he has already got a good job. Do they want you to marry one richer with a master degree, or do they just want you to obey them unconditionally? How much have they learned about your boyfriend? Have you talked with your parents about that? Please don't worry too much about that. Every problem can be solved.

Author: jing Time: 2009-7-31 09:45
if i were you ,i can't give up my love!
i am a filial children for my parents!i will to consider their feelings before i falling in love!cos they are important person for me!
but now i understand you!you don't know how to choose love and family,i don't know why did parents oppose you!
You can play for time,maybe this is a way!good way!!
my sisier is doing that! The most important for your parents to look at the performance of your boyfriend!
精诚所至，金石为开!Do not give up your love!

Author: youthy Time: 2009-7-31 10:40
Thank you! i'll make any effort.

Author: youthy Time: 2009-7-31 14:03

小莫: I have imagined before if my parents won't accept my boyfriend, I won't get married until they accept him, although I won't fight with my parents abou

i've tried every possilbe means i can imagine but every time it didn't work. Now i feel frustrated and hopeless though there's still love towards my bf. This is the most devilish problem i ever met.

Author: kathybear Time: 2009-7-31 16:08
You can marry secretly, when you have a babay, you parents have to admit you and your boyfriend!

Author: youthy Time: 2009-7-31 16:26

Hehe~ I've thought about that way but i really cannot do like that because i thought a marriage without the support of parents may not be a happy one and i really can't imagine how they will respond on that occasion. So to speak, i'm now in extremely mixed emotions.

Author: 小莫 Time: 2009-7-31 20:21
If you really need to choose between your parents and your boyfriend, who will you choose? If you really believe the love between you and your boyfriend, what are you waiting for? Can you ask your relatives to persuade your parents? Waiting for your good news...

Author: hirondelle Time: 2009-7-31 21:09
You are approaching 30, aren't you? You think it worth your precious youth to wait for a boy for such a long time against your parents' will? You know what, you may risk your own life happiness! I wonder whether there is another man admiring you in the school where you teach. If there has been one who was interested in you, did you ever think about accepting a new chance of love? If you persist in following him, there can only be two consequence. One is to marry him---we all hope it!----Another is that you finally seperate, and you are left at an age that may have negtive effect upon your next chance of love---forgive me to be frank, I just speak the truth. You have to think it over carefully. Wish you a happy end!

Author: youthy Time: 2009-8-1 11:45

hirondelle: You are approaching 30, aren't you? You think it worth your precious youth to wait for a boy for such a long time against your parents' will? You know

Dear Hirondelle,
Thanks for your frankness! i like to be friends with persons like you. To tell you the truth, i don't want to stay at where i'm teaching. That's why i have refused all the admirers here. But really i don't have enough time and energy being risk wasting my precious time. Time can be cure for everything and maybe i need time to hocus myself and to forget the unpleasant experience with parents.

Author: youthy Time: 2009-8-1 12:55

小莫: If you really need to choose between your parents and your boyfriend, who will you choose? If you really believe the love between you and your boyfrie

I've asked me several times the first two questions raised. For the first question, i really don't know the answer--that's because both of the two pose a vital significance in my life. As to the second, i believe in the love between us, but there're so many other complicated factors involved that i really can't guarantee the love. i'm really in fixed emotions... As for the last question, my parents are extremely obstinate, they only trust on their own judgment! Ah, i feel pressed! Let it be. At last, thanks a lot for your attention.

Author: hirondelle Time: 2009-8-1 13:27

youthy: Dear Hirondelle,
Thanks for your frankness! i like to be friends with persons like you. To tell you the truth, i don't want to stay at where i'm te

Good luck to you! One day you marry, don't forget to tell all of us!

Author: youthy Time: 2009-8-1 15:07
ABSOLUTELY!

Welcome to DioEnglish.com (http://www.dioenglish.com/)