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Why I Want My Father
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The reason why I want my father is that I have been increasingly in want of him instead of rejecting him. My father had been a severe father, an impatient father and an arrogant father. Despite that, he had been generous, respectable and truly loving. My mother says that it is human nature to sometimes miss him and the instinct to shed tears, but I feel definitely that I do have lost more goodness which was once devoted to me than the minor mistakes in the way that I was treated. It is veritably this comparison that is the reason why I want my father.
The first time I wept was when I first saw how my father was like as a man of unsound mind. I wept simply because I had my fear for death; because when his own son had ignorantly called him "Dad! My old Dad!", he couldn't even recognise me and make a response. At that time I had felt that I wanted him; I had wanted him above and beyond how my fear for death could stop me, but inferior to the heartlessness my father had shown me.
I want my father because when I wanted to be a little luxurious, it was him who took me out to eat and entertain. I want my father because he was forever stronger than me, and no one had ever replaced him when I was in need of a partner to play pingpong or badminton. I want my father because when I was confused—actually, I was too often confused—there would always be the most decisive opinion that carried weight. I want my father, at last, because when now I want him, he was not in the present tense.
The first time I wept was when I first saw how my father was like as a man of unsound mind. I wept simply because I had my fear for death; because when his own son had ignorantly called him "Dad! My old Dad!", he couldn't even recognise me and make a response. At that time I had felt that I wanted him; I had wanted him above and beyond how my fear for death could stop me, but inferior to the heartlessness my father had shown me.
I want my father because when I wanted to be a little luxurious, it was him who took me out to eat and entertain. I want my father because he was forever stronger than me, and no one had ever replaced him when I was in need of a partner to play pingpong or badminton. I want my father because when I was confused—actually, I was too often confused—there would always be the most decisive opinion that carried weight. I want my father, at last, because when now I want him, he was not in the present tense.
