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Truth & Lie--Love & Hate
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Sometimes we make confusions and do not know why we are doing something that we resisted to do as we swore to the god before. And we do that firmly. For examply, a lie to someone who believes you greatly and a pile of bad words to your family. However, these are something done conciously and clearly and it is indeed a misery when you look back after you have done it.
Truth & Lie
I worked as a customer support in a trading company where the so-called successful after-sale service is highly emphasized. I mean we need to think of many tricky ideas and "persuade" our customers to accept our service while that is hardly acceptable among most of Chinese. For example, a customer complained about the long shipment, we needed to emphasize the shipping policy in our company which would take 3-7 business days while we state that we are local business. But that is not! And the shipping may take longer. Another example, a customer, showing off his love for his girlfriend, purchased a product from our store and held excitement to wait for the delivery of the product and contacted me for further confirmation that the product was in good condition. As a customer support who wanted to keep sales, I had to ensure the quality of the product for him while my heart was bleeding and I felt so sad. I did not want to lie to him but I had to at that time. For one moment, I wanted to keep their email and wrote to them my apologies for lying to them. I dared not to and I did not know how to start. That seemed a silly thing to do so and a hard thing too because I am still working in this company. But luckily, I was appoved to transfer to purchasing department after I made a clean breast of my feelings to my boss.
Love & Hate
I am very sorry now for I have spoken some bad words to my parents without considering how they thought. Just as what my brother told me, they are my parents and how they would do something bad to us. But I just spoke with great anger and no consideration which I thought had hurt them greatly. My father earnestly hope that I could find a job in government departments. But as you may know, it is an accident with little chances: one in a million maybe. Besides, I really do not want to work there and I do not possess the desires and abilities to work there. However, they pushed me again and again, their words like floods striking me again and again and pushing my mind into mad existence and dragging me into some condition where I found myself not understood while nobody ever wanted to listen to me. I had my dreams to pursue and I had my career to do. I HATE THEM, I have to say so at that time. They are my parents, the most beloved ones in the world, and they should understand me and know how I feel. That is the way to love me. So losing temper, I said bad words to them loudly, claiming that they did not understand me and they just wanted me to act as their weapons and their tools to gain honors from neighbors.
But luckily, after a talk with my brother and my parents, we are reconciled right now. And I just still felt sad for my bad words without considering my parents' feelings and cares for me.
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Post comment Comment (6 replies)
- Reply sunnyv
- You are a person with a warm and caring heart but seems you are not very strong in handling your own emotions. You have indeed over reacted a bit. You have not done or said anything really wrong. Anyone with a sense of respect would have reacted the way you did.
As for your parents pressure on you to get a government job, you have to understand that they are from a previous generation and they are still living in the ''iron bowl'' job era. They don't realize how much things have changed and how difficult things can be. Now, who don't want a stable government job? There are millions of people lining up for those jobs and your chance is less than winning a lottery. You should have played along the line of your parents just to please them. Pretend to agree with them and do apply even if there is no chance. Those civil service jobs are not like what it used to be. It would be difficult for you to survive unless you have the right connections, otherwise you would be just holding a routine job with fixed pay. Your parents have high hopes for you and it is your duty to pacify them even if you are unwilling. Slowly they would realize that you are seeking the best for yourself and you are not against their wishes.
Regarding the customer service, you indeed have a respectable personality and trustworthy. Your future partner would be fortunate to have you. However, you have to realize that all these are commercial operations. The policies and rules are determined by the company. You don't have much power to change things. All you can do is to act the best for your company and customers. You do not have to feel guilty because if it is your own company, you would certainly act honestly and responsibly.
Just do things to the best best of your ability and understand and comfort your parents wherever possible. I am sure they would then see you as a clever and understanding person. Good luck to you dear.
- Reply lovingfun
- I have ever fell into the same situations like you. But later, when I communicate with my parents more than before, they begin know me clearly, and then they accept my ideas gradually.
They make any decision on sake of you, and you know that. But what they made may violent with our decision, so the conflict come up. Due to they are your family member, you think that you needn't hide your true feelings , thus quarrel come into being. Just as Sunnyv says:"We should learn control our emotions." Self-dicipline is very important for us.
I advise you find more time spend with them , and communicate with them, why we make such decision. When they know you have already make up your mind, and try you best to heat the goal, then they maybe understand you, possibly, they may support you as well.
My friends, take it easy, and make a sound preparations, most important, let those who care us most know that we are determind, instead of making a haste decision.
- Reply Scarlett_Lin
- Hi thank you for your comfort. It is a long message and you must have thought about the matters I have listed above because you are such a caring person too and care anybody who feels difficult to go on here.
sunnyv: You are a person with a warm and caring heart but seems you are not very strong in handling your own emotions. You have indeed over reacted a bit. You ...
Yes, I really think I am overreacted because as a freshman who is not so bad among so many job seekers, I am confident I can certainly find a job which will match my knowledge and my background. It seems that I am too conceited to say those words. If that is a fact, I did not need to overact in this way to prove I am potential with competence. That was childlike.
However, just my parents did not ever believe in me once, even for a time. I said that I could be enrolled in some university, but they thought I could not go there and prepared the procedures for me to be in school again. Then I was influenced and thought I could not go to the university where I was confident I could go. But the truth was that I was enrolled.
So from this fact, I just overacted to prove that I can, but in fact, I can not in many aspects, for example, emotion control as what you have mentioned in the message.
One of my friend ever told me:" If you really want to pursue something that you think you are right and you want to keep it in your whole life, then work hard with little words. If you tell your parents that you are very hard and tough to go on, then a parent who cares you too much will certainly ask you to quit and go as they request you to go." I think I should work more instead of complaining too much to them and yes, I should also hold a good talk with them frequently and show optimism to them that I can go on. Making them confident in my way to my career is the best way to solve the issue.
As for the customer service, yes, I should not feel too guilty about this matter, but just sometimes that I needed to lie to them about the shipping time and the quality of the products etc., made me very uncomfortable. Some of them treat me as a friend but I had to trick them. My Mr. Right told me that there was no need to worry about this matter because the purchases were I-wish-you-love mode, the price was low and certainly the quality should not be so good.
Anyway, thank you again for your warm words and I will surely try my best to go on. By the way, growing up as a clever and considerable person is one among my many dreams. :)
- Reply Scarlett_Lin
- Hi thank you for your kind words. Yes, surely self-discipline is very important not only in a talk with parents but also in your work and your study.
lovingfun: I have ever fell into the same situations like you. But later, when I communicate with my parents more than before, they begin know me clearly, and th ...
They showed their hopes violently without considering my thoughts and I too responded violently to reveal my feelings to them because I was influenced by them, thinking that I must be violent and straight so that I could make them listen to me and make me understood. But things went contrary most of the time and our "talk" ended in a quarrel. We just wanted the counterpart to listen to our voice within but neglected their reasons to say that. And they are our parents, the most beloved ones whom we can say something directly to. And if they don't understand me, then who can? I always held that in mind.
My brother arranged a walk outside with me and held a long talk about the matters regarding my parents, my future and my temper. And I began to know more about the family and understood my parents' difficulties and dilemma they were facing. So when my father led this topic again and said that he was too tired to do business( he thought that I was in a trading company so I was doing business in some way instead of working as a white collar), I understood his exhaustion and analyzed my planning for the future to him. His interest was intrigued and we had a happy dinner that day. This trip back home must have been the most unforgettable and I will surely talk more to my parents in the future. A sound communication will surely work things out. Thank you again for your kind comfort.
- Reply Scarlett_Lin
- Hey, thank you! Sounds like Tracy who corrected my diaries ever! Haha.
sunnyv:
Good and you write quite well too. Keep it up, dear.
