Though I don’t have an opportunity to watch season two, I read comments regarding a Chinese man Yingqin still considers virginity as the best gift a girl can give for the perfect marriage.  

YingQin is concerned if QiuYingYing is not a sexually pure good girl, how she can love him if she doesn’t love herself.

He might be right as he needs an innocent girl who can devote to him all her life.

However, the world is changing, YingQin should know how to adapt to the modern society, he can’t still live in the past- 100 years ago.

At that time, a good girl was supposed to be a virgin; she could be marrying a man without seeing him once before the wedding date.

Then what happened? The richer the man, the more wives he had.

However, when a married woman found a lover, what would be waiting for her? It was a tragedy. She might either commit suicide or live a miserable life.

A wealthy wife didn’t need to go to work; she gave up the right to be independent and lived the life which was full of jealousy, hatred, competition and fighting from other ladies.

Fortunately, this has been called history.

Nowadays, Chinese women are becoming self-reliant; everyone has the right entering into the workforce and earns money to support her.

Therefore, it doesn't matter whether a guy cares about a virgin or not, she has a lot of choices.

If a man doesn’t like me, no worries, I am not gonna marry you, you are not the kind of person I am looking for, you are out of date.

In China, it is not typical a man is looking for a virgin to get married, but it still exists, especially in under-developed areas.

Some girls go to the hospital to do the operation to pretend to be a virgin so that she can find a traditional good man for the desired marriage.

I was very surprised to hear that, girls and boys, are you still living in 100 years ago?

I was also curious about how a western man was thinking about a virgin, so I asked my friend, Peter, who has a Scottish Dad and a Spanish Mum.

I thought he might tell me: “A virgin would be nice though I don’t care very much.”

Then I would have told Peter “Aren’t you as stupid as that man in the movie?”

But then I had to say: “Cool, you are awesome!!!!” after I’ve heard from Peter: “I would drive a second-hand Porsche! Who wants a virgin? I don’t like. Because when they older, they want to experiment, I prefer a girl who has had many boyfriends before.”

That’s completely the different attitude towards a girl between a Western man and a Chinese man.

YinQing, a Chinese man in the movie, prefers a girl who is naive, who has little life experience with no opinion, who listens to him, who can give up herself for the happiness of a husband and future children, and that is the perfect wife.

And what Peter said: “He wants a child? Does he want a servant? He wants to be in control and be the big man.”

That’s right, YinQing would like to marry a virgin because he’s afraid of QiuYingYing making a comparison with other people, he wants to be dominated, but that doesn’t mean he can bring real happiness to the girl.

Time goes by, when a man turns to 40, he could earn lots of money with high social status, that will be too easy for him to find a beautiful young lover.

However, after a lady turns to 40, if she’s not mentally strong and financially independent; if she’s used to the submissive role, then how desperate the life she will have, she has to learn how to tolerant.

My friend Jenny told me the story regarding a Chinese lady, who suffered mental illness after she discovered the intimacy relationship her husband with a beautiful girl, but she could do nothing about it.

"You want me to divorce, don’t be silly, how other people think about me? Relatives, parents, friends, and that will have the bad influence on our children."

"Also, who I can marry with, no one would like to marry a divorced lady, and all the men are the same, they are all trying to find a lover once become rich."

That’s the point; a man can find as many girls as he likes as long as he’s rich, whereas a girl has to be a virgin, is this equal? It seems to me we are returning to my grandma’s time.

As a woman, I prefer the western way; a girl should have choices before marriage until she finds the one which fits her the most.

One Aussie colleague, she had several boyfriends when she was a teenager and has experienced happy and broken relationship, where she gained life experience and knew what kind of man she needs.

In the end, she married a gentleman who enjoys work as much as she does, yes, that’s the man who suits her, and she’s not interested in a handsome careless man, or a slacker.

And one Aussie friend, who is a very kind high-educated gentleman, but he loves a divorced lady.

In Australia, I suppose almost no western man will care about virginity, but they do mind the independence of a girl, that will scare a man to death if a girl doesn’t give him space and try to stick with him wherever he is.

That’s the way it should be, a man has the right to select a girl, and a girl can also choose a gentleman.

Girls, it’s not necessary for you to pretend to be a virgin at all, one thing you should keep in mind, being independent and relying on yourself.

If a man doesn't like you, that’s fine, then please find another dreamed one.

my dear friends, how do you think about it?

Please join my wechat subscription: Englishpassion, if you enjoy my blogs