It seems everyone is talking about a Chinese TV series “The first half of my life” (我的前半生)

I haven’t watched it, but I’ve heard a little bit of the story. ZiJun Luo, a 37-year-old beautiful woman marries a super rich man and being a stay-at-home Mum.

She’s living a life luxury; there’s a nanny taking care of the kid, the house keeper do the housework, she wears designer clothes and a pair of shoes cost 80000CNY ($15,000).

ZiJun doesn’t need to do anything except focusing on her husband; however, she’s not happy and always worries about one day her husband leaves her because of a pretty younger girl.

After seven years, the concern about losing husband becomes a reality; the only difference is that her husband falls in love with another divorced lady who has an eight-year-old son.

ZiJun, Luo only has half year work experience since graduated from Uni; then she married a wealthy boyfriend who promised to take care of her the whole life.

Unfortunately, now she has to step out of comfort zone and start a new life.

A woman can’t setup husband as a goal, no matter how true the love is: “Darling, you don’t have to work, I will look after you and never leave you no matter what happens.”

I do believe a man is serious about what he said, however, this is not a fairy tale world, no one knows what will happen after 10, 20 or 30 years.

The world is changing; it is no longer old traditional days, say, my dad’s age, he is a successful entrepreneur, he’s knowledgeable and very good at public speaking; therefore, he was a lady killer.

My Mum was a housewife though she did accounting job, Dad is the only man in her life, my Mum doesn’t read books, Dad is keen on reading and writing.

They live in a different world, but Dad has never left Mum no matter how many arguments they have made.

Instead of Dad give all his money to Mum, and he doesn’t care how Mum spends it so that she can live a life safe and comfortable.

That time China was restricted by moral standards, for example, if my Dad left Mum with another lady, then my grandma, grandpa, relatives and colleagues would all blame Dad as a bad man.

You can imagine how much pressure the divorce will bring to a person.

In recent decades, China has influenced by western culture dramatically; it is not unusual if a couple experiences emotional pain more than happiness; the simple way is to give each other freedom by ending up the relationship.

In Australia, if a couple divorce, the property will be divided in half, if a wife takes care of two kids, then she will gain more from divorce, a woman is protected by the law.

That’s the reason Aussies are so scared of marrying again once they divorced.

I know one Aussie man, after divorced the drunken wife, he lost more than half house and money, so he swears not gonna marry a woman, but he can still earn enough money from hard work.

For a lady, if she has never worked after having a baby, then she will lack work experience and skills; that will be very hard for her to re-enter into the workforce.

If she can’t earn enough money, how can she support children and herself?

Even if she gets more than half fortune from ex-husband, she still needs to be independent mentally and financially.

I had one lady boss, Linda; her mum was a beautiful woman who happily married a wealthy gentleman.

Unluckily, after a few years, Mum and Dad got divorced, Linda and her brother belong to Mum, but her mum couldn’t earn enough money to pay for living expenses for the children.Most of the time, they have to rely on Centrelink.

At the 20-year-old birthday party, Linda was shocked as her Dad took a beautiful girlfriend who was the same age as Linda.

Linda’s Dad spent money on the other girl rather than on his daughter.

Since then, Linda no longer trusted any man; she realised that she had to rely on herself to be an independent woman.

Luckily, she marries a wealthy man, and they have two children, Linda drives a BMW, she does housework and works both at home or in the office while taking care of kids.

She works as hard as a workaholic, and her husband complains Linda loves Excel spreadsheet more than him as most of the time Linda sits in front of the computer doing accounting

Linda is not afraid of her husband leaving her, even if that happens, she can get the half property, and she also can earn money.

Therefore, ladies, please never pay all attention to your husband, please give him freedom and space.

That will be like in the jail if the wife doesn’t allow man talk to other ladies, or monitor emails and phone calls. Just imagine, if the husband does the same to you, what feeling you will get.

No matter how rich you are, please still do something meaningful which brings value to the others; then you will be a happy person.

Lucky you, you don't have to work eight hours a day, but you can do something matters to you.

For example, if you love the decoration, you can make your house beautiful; meanwhile, you may find like-minded people and teach them how to do it.

Because when you do something really matters, you don’t have time to focus on your husband, who cares what he’s doing?

If one day some unexpected things happen, you still have a particular skill; you can survive without a man.

Marrying a rich man means more choices; you can either be a career woman or stay-at-home Mum doing what you love so that you can grow and make your life meaningful.

If a woman put all effort on husband without doing anything love, you will consume heart and be crazy, because the more you control a man, the more likely he wanna get rid of you.

A woman will be more attractive if she leaves personal space to a man and focus on something big and let herself grow. 

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