I read a blog from Dioenglish regarding a mum has a difficult decision whether stay at home take care of the child or be a career woman let a nanny do it.

I can understand as I faced the same situation when my daughter was a little one.

After I had her, I still held a dream- study overseas, but I couldn’t figure out how to find time learn English.

I had a day job, I could finish five days’ work within two days, but I couldn’t do what I loved, it was better to get involved in gossip by wasting time like most of the others.

However, I was extremely busy at home, I took daughter to school, picked her up.

I did chores with a casual cleaner helped us sometimes and had free dinner with parents, I could hardly find time to pursue a dream within the limited hours.

I was not happy as I wasted precious time in the company without doing anything useful, and it was common, everyone had a job but not much work to do, therefore no matter managers or office workers were paid low salary with the slight difference.

If I learned English in the office, colleagues would mock me, which gave me tremendous pressure and made me feel like a monster, so I had to hide it.

For so many times I was gonna leave the company, a senior colleague warned me: “You would have no future without a job.”

Can you imagine, in the early 1990s, leaving a company which we were arranged to work with the whole life, it's similar to an Aussie give up citizenship or PR in Australia to take an adventure in another country.

Obviously, that was a bit crazy idea. Only someone who had been to the jail or very few risk-takers would do that; average people stayed safe.

I was very struggled with time and decided to send the daughter to a boarding kindergarten run by People’s Armed Police Force, and it was introduced by a close friend who worked as a teacher.

Unfortunately, after a while, my daughter was very unwilling to go there on Monday mornings.

And it took the time to pick her up on Friday afternoons which was far away from where I lived.

So we changed idea and tried to ask someone to give us a hand, but it was not easy to find a suitable one.

After that, we sent the daughter to an Art Kindergarten nearby where she learned piano.

When she started primary school, I took her to have piano lessons from a private music teacher; my husband sent her to learn math on the weekends.

Where to have my time, that’s how my English could never get improved.

Eventually, at the end of the 1990s, it was popular for employees in their 40s to get redundant by state-run companies.

Probably that was a good opportunity for my resignation, by the way, previously, we couldn’t leave a company without the authorization of the manager.

While everyone was afraid of losing one, I quit the job.

Then I’ve got lots of freedom; I could keep the balance between life, family and dream.

One colleague said: “Wow, you are so lucky, you can play Mahjong every day.” 

“Sorry, what are you talking about, that’s not the reason I left the company.” I wanna argue but didn't say anything.

To some extent, I was safer than ZiJun Luo as my dad was a successful businessman who could give me financial security.

Instead of being a stay-at-home housewife, like ZiJun Luo in “The first half of my life” doing shopping, taking care of family, living a luxury life without considering how to realise her value.

I focused on self-improvement. I studied very hard while taking care of daughter; I got lots of certificates, one English diploma and another Business Admin diploma in China.

I have never had wasted time and realised dream eventually.

While I studied overseas, husband looked after daughter; he’s a very responsible dad, so I did not have any concern.

After I completed Bachelor degree and got PR in Australia, my 15-year-old daughter came to Melbourne.