It really disappointed me when getting that message the first time, but this time I was calm and thought carefully just after I finished it. So it is not that disappointing when I finally get the result this afternoon.  

     The interview was for an summer project to go to Cambridge for professional study and some visits. Only students who pass it can obtain financial support form the school. The others have a choice whether to quit or to pay it theirselves. It is very expensive, about 40000RMB in total which is far more expensive than a team travel lasting the same time. Actually, I haven't make up my mind to go abroad for futher study and the mainly reason is financal problem, followed by afraid to be complete independent in someplace I never been to before. 

      After contamplating it carefully in mind, I think the second reason not to go abroad is just the reason why I failed my interview. Yes, it isn't my not that good oral English , not the well-prepared self introduction I gave, but the afraid and lack of confidence to be indepent on an unfamiliar space.

     I prepared my introduction in the order of aim to attend this project, my study grade, hobby and activity, future and experience to do medical research. I made the list accorading to the last interview I attended one year ago. Compared with that one, I performed far more better in this one. I used to prepared nothing but psycological constuction to fight with anxiety, but now ,I can speak what I want to say fruntely in English without apparent interval between sentances. But I still made a lot of grammer mistakes and use simple stentances only.

     After finishing my exam, I inquired a teacher of mine who is a interviewer about it. I got the point for the exam. What praise you have got before do not count much, but what you show with your English statement count a lot. 

     After I got the result a week latter, I inquired a classmate of mine about how he succeeded in it. I got the point for an introduction. How much point you refer to do not count too, but what you get form those experience really count. I focus more on an entire intruction of my life and study, without so much comment on it. I focused only in passing the interview and ignore the research people do it for granted before attending a project like this, such as place of interest in London, information on my profession internationly. I used to focus on overcome the difficulty only rather than to enjoy the period of everyday life.

     I'm satisfied with my interview in some way, for I improved a lot which is not enough accroading to the result. 

     The last problem is about money. My father agree to support me in this case so I'll go to London this summer. This will be the first time I go to europe and also the first time to leave my hometown alone without my parents or any relative. which could be a big challenge for me. Wish myself a good time.

     But, I still feel awful about not getting schools support. I wasn't an excellent student enough to outstand on a group of peers and even do not earn money though I am an adult. To do a trip like this is, for fun only in fact, nothing about self improvement or a chance to fulfill my study. I feel ashamed to spend my parents money to have a foreign trip myself. As a result, I write this text to recored my thinking and achievement for the initial stage of my "Combridge trip". That trip will start in July 15th this summer.