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2019.5.16 Diary at night

94 views. 2019-5-17 00:43

The performance has just been finished today evening while there is still a huge amount of things remain to be done in the following days. It is 23:35 on 16th of May now, the moment that I've just completed with what I should have done today.

I went for self study in the morning, had lunch and went back for make-up. To neglect the rehearense at 13:00 in order to listen to my class on practical diagnosis in the afternoon. I planned to leave classroom at 15:00. As the result, leader of the dance team acolded me using unconsiderable words in very angry voice. But, I forgiave her rudeness for she is one grade younger than me, and the hard practice as well as terrible-arranged time schedule for rehearense also put plenty of troubles on her. During the rehearse yesterday she was scolded on our bad performance and lack of member by our dance teacher. She cried, face to all of us, girls comforted her with soft words. They were so skillful in making up sentence to cheer another's heart when I just listened to them and apperciated in private. Though in my mind, an university student cry in public on teachers' critical  is really a shame which only happen in primary school.

I'm good at dance as an ametour though I don't have much interest on it, thanks to my mum.

I reached the prepration room before 15:00 in the end though the leader said "You don't need to come, just forcus on your study!" in phone. I ought to tell her first-----I know that, but the unidentified time arrangement given by her annoyed me a lot in the past two month. In fact, I am against most of her command for its unclear and selfish. But I never say that to her, never.

All in all, I finished the show------probably the last chance in college, not so happy as I already known at the very beginning. To be an adult means you must be responsible for your decision at a moment, in spite of regretness, obstacles, injury and tears during the process. Otherwise I could probably be the dance team leader if I put in more attention. I led a dance of the team at my first semester in college, that time I was full of ensuziasm, taking the place of an ill elder's position temporaryly. That performance was also successfully held, left me with disappointment for the time I used and exhausted with the arguments among directors. Today is acturly the second time that I took part in a show as member of the school's dance team, and the last time I suppose. That's exactly why I ignore my hard classes to waste precious time on a nonsence thing like that.

Time has just past 12 o'clock, It's 17th of May now, my birthday, always workday. I always have nothing special in birthday, no gifts, no party, no friends congratulation face to face, maybe one or two texts in phone. My attutides towards life should be responsible for this and I have no complanation.  So I purchased a gift to one of my roommates last month as birthday gift, for the first time, trying to make a little change. Nevertheless, tomorrow, no, today is Friday which means I can go home at evening and mom has ordered cake for me. 

I have difficult final exams on medicine in the following two month, one by one. I must apply for vista to England for the summer's overbroad project that I have already sign for. I still have oral English test and paper test for CET6, with the aim of oral A and papar over 600. It seems that I forgot a large number of words and grammer knowledge in the past 3 years. I'm afraid of getting a mark less than last time------596.

So I write diary in English after the exhausting evening show and hours to put files in order for vista. I have a bus on 7 o'clock tomorrow morning. 

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