from 2012-2018 , I suffer so much , but those terrible experience is NOT taken by others , it's from me .  people always said , the most powerful ghost is yourself . I know that , it's very hard to do , but I must do , and I will put it to a highest level that anyone else never do and never want .there is no other way for my mind , for my destination . just like Dr.Strange said to the Iron Man.

for my own , I have to give up most of something which can make me happy , I can not get the friendship or care from others. from beginning to right now , I can bear , but do something to beat yourself is so hard ,so hard. I can't take any words to description it . 

now , in my mind , this is a statement for me , 'if you want to be a evil , then , you must get through the hell which evils live ' , I always do the thing that should happen to my life . no matter what will happen , I will never change the the way , for her , put all my life is also worth