emotion and worst imagine almost took all my confident away. such as that I have a better job than my classmate or friends . I will be liked that give a huge thanks to my leader or someone who takes me into it. the reason why is that I consider that I have this is them give to me , so I must kiss their feet to save my situation and let my heart steady , so , they become to god for me , they happy , I happy , they sad, I too. it likes a shit life for me , I always want to have comfortable situation with me , but , I always put me in a low place and low thinking , in another word is 'I was a loser , people are the gun and I am a weak animal ...'

this situation around me for a long while , I should wake up to face and understand this more over again.I consider that Near, Jean,Sadako,Rui , what them look like, but , I think over again , why I own this emotion? there is only one reason can explain that, my timer in last five years show it's effect to me. History,pick up Artist,Desire,Mind,Sell,Personal story, the second word war , Management , IT , Math , Physics , Novel . ..and My ancient emotion had not already to save it , so , so bad effect comes to me , when the happiness which is more desire than you want  , your first emotion is to save it , with the time pass, you will lose your ambition and the confidence. finally, you will lose your thinking and mind at the vital time .

I got this by myself , most should I thanks is myself ,others just a bit of them.