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Farewell to 2018

Hot 3201 views. 2018-12-31 02:37

I’m here bid farewell to myself of 2018. 


2018 had seemed like a quiet year. It just skidded away without making a sound, without me aware of it. But it doesn’t mean it’s not an important year for me. Actually 2018 has been a crucial year. I also did a lot of thinking in 2018, about my work, my bitter marriage, and my future. 


In terms of my work, I finally officially re-joined the team in 2018. God I tried so hard to come back. Not that I loved it so much that I had to come back. It’s just the feeling that I didn’t belong to anywhere else. Well, all coins have two sides. The good side of this is that I got my career back on track, and the bad side of it is that the workload doubled, or even tripled, somehow. A full year has nearly gone. The last official working day was 29 December. Even on that day I was still trying my best to cope with the situation I was in. This is something that I never expected could happen. Well, face the fact. All I can do is to work harder and with a sincerer heart next year. Hopefully things will change a little bit next year. I hope I can feel better. 


In terms of love, well, I feel like I’ve lost all the strength to love. my heart now is like a lake with all its water drained up, the only thing left is a bare lake bed. I divorced my husband in mid-2017, and 2018 has been a year of rehabilitation. I hoped I could pick myself up and started to love again. I had a few one-off dates, but they never worked out. Maybe they weren’t the right one, or maybe I was the problem. I don’t know. What I do know is that I’m not exactly longing for another love story for now. I’ve kind of lost trust in all men. I’m so sure there are good men out there. I just need time and luck. I don’t extravagantly hope that I meet my Mr. Right in 2019. But I’ll try to be a better self, I need to make sure if he’s really there, I’m ready. 你若微笑,清风自来。


In terms of my future. With my marriage dead, I can’t give myself a reason why I am still here in Shanghai. Even my big boss is curious why I stick to Shanghai all by myself. I think in early 2019, I will work out a solution as to where I’ll end up at. Shanghai is a nice city, but I feel that we don’t belong to each other. I’m just a passer-by, for the most part. Therefore, I think I will try to find a job back in my hometown so that I can stay with my parents who are growing very old. Maybe in my hometown, I can start to love again. 


Well, this is it. My dear 2018, thank you for being there with me. No matter how much I want you to stay, now it’s your time to go. 


2019, I welcome you with all my heart. It won’t be a easy year, but I’ll try my best to be strong, be peaceful, smile all the time. You wait and see!



Post comment Comment (6 replies)

Reply johnsonwu 2018-12-31 14:47
where there is a smile, there is a gentle breeze. May you embrace the new love in the new year!
Reply admin 2018-12-31 17:33
Wish you the best of luck for all your efforts. Keep fighting    and may you get what you want in 2019!
Reply Lanie 2018-12-31 18:19
admin: Wish you the best of luck for all your efforts. Keep fighting      and may you get what you want in 2019!
Thank you! I wish you all the best as well in the coming year!  
Reply Lanie 2018-12-31 18:22
johnsonwu: where there is a smile, there is a gentle breeze. May you embrace the new love in the new year!
"where there is a smile, there is a gentle breeze." Yes, this is what I meant. Hope we all embrace love and life in 2019. Thank you!
Reply teadrinking 2018-12-31 21:44
Hold on, you can meet a better future. Shake away the mess and go for a nicer tomorrow. A job, a marriage, a love and a wish for the new year could be  your next goal to work for. To secelet another career or just to return back hometown is up to your decision. Whatever happens, you are the one who makes everything on your own. When you feel exhausted, wait and rest up for a while. Then you move on, the journey is there.

Best in 2019.
Reply Lanie 2019-1-1 00:31
teadrinking: Hold on, you can meet a better future. Shake away the mess and go for a nicer tomorrow. A job, a marriage, a love and a wish for the new year could be ...
Thank you for your thoughtful encouragement. I think I'm ready for the new year! All the best to you too!

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