Tomorrow my son starts 3rd grade. Both my wife and I have been super busy lately, usually working overtime until 9–10pm. Honestly, this whole summer felt much easier for us because my wife’s niece stayed with us and helped watch both our son and daughter.

But now things are changing. Our son goes back to school, and my niece is also heading off to start college. My wife is suddenly getting really anxious: Who’s going to help our son with his homework? What if we’re both stuck at work late? Can we keep working these hours?

I told her not to worry too much. By 3rd grade, kids need to start developing their own ability to learn independently. We can’t always sit right next to him while he does homework. If he doesn’t focus and falls behind, that’s on him, not because we weren’t hovering over him.

I’m curious what other parents think. At what age did you step back and let your kids take more responsibility for their own schoolwork? How much hand-holding is too much, and how much independence is realistic?