Last night I went out with my boss, a customer, and one of our forwarders. After work, we went downstairs for barbecue. At first it seemed like a normal, casual night, but it quickly turned into something that was just off.

There were five people of the forward company: one guy and four women. We were sitting boy-girl-boy-girl, and during the whole dinner my boss started acting in ways I thought were really inappropriate. He kept bringing up sex and adult topics, asking things like, “Can I kiss you?”, “How many guys have you kissed?”, and even “If you don’t like kissing guys, do you like kissing girls? Are you a lesbian?” He was saying this to multiple women there, including one girl who’s only 22 while he’s 35.

On top of that, he was being kind of handsy and flirty in a way that felt disrespectful. There was also another woman there, around 50, who’s married and pretty traditional. My boss and the customer kept joking with her, saying stuff like, “Have you ever thought about cheating on your husband? If you do, we’re here for you.” It was so direct and awkward.

What really shocked me is that in the office and at the factory, both my boss and the customer act completely professional—like total gentlemen. But once we were out drinking and relaxing, it felt like their real personalities came out.

They always say Western culture is more “open,” but honestly I don’t think this is a Western thing. I have American friends who are respectful, kind, and would never act like this. To me, this feels less like culture and more like individual behavior. Some people are just disrespectful.

What bothers me most is that whenever my boss is around women, sex seems to be his default topic. It’s like if he’s not talking about sex, he doesn’t know what else to say. But there are so many normal things people can talk about—travel, cultural differences, funny life experiences, hobbies—without making everyone uncomfortable.

Maybe I’m old-fashioned, but this kind of behavior feels unprofessional, disrespectful, and honestly embarrassing. Am I overthinking this, or would other people feel uncomfortable too?