Recent days, I was going through a very pressureful time. I have been working for almost three years, while very unfortunately, I haven't find a interested aspect in work. Very often, I would feel overwhelmed, and whenever I have spare time, I really don't know what I should focus on. As a matter of fact, the scientific research work is intrinsicly boring itself. Additionally, it makes me more annoyed if others ask me do very trifling things. To force myself to become interested in the scientific research work, I signed up for the PHD entering examination. Certainly, it was not the full-time PHD, I would work as usual and achieve the diploma with my spare time. To pass the exam, I spent much time on it, and my boyfriend has sacrificed his own time to accompany me while I was preparing for it, and it lasted for almost one and a half months. Not for one time, I would ask myself, was it worth?
After the examination, I orginally thought I would feel more relaxed. However, much more work was waiting for me. My boss asked me to investigate a new research field which is out of the range of my major. It was very hard for me to understand those complicate papers. They almost exhaust my patience and my confidence. Not like other jobs, it's not easy to define when a task would be finished. And I've been bored with the seemingly endless and tedious work. I really don't know whether my choice is right or not, whether I will be interested in my work or not. It's so unclear now.
These things that working until very late, gaining weight, worsening skin status, and more severe cervical problems, make me feel worse. Despite of these, life still goes on. I have asked my boyfriend, what do we live or struggle for? His answer is "experience". Yeah, the life that I am complaining about may be the one that others desire to have. I guess a majority of people are tortured by various pressure and negative moods everyday. Actually, life isn't that worse, the key lies in how to make yourself enjoy it. Only those who know how to deal with such problems can live much happier and I am looking forward to a good way to become better.