After three months separation, I wrote to her last Saturday as follows:
The thought of you nowadays still makes me restless. You know, peace and calmness is essential for us to be in good command of our reasoning power, without which any fruitful effort is impossible. Being with you can make me happy and resourceful, which will also lead to success. I have hoped that striking a good balance might be good for both of us, but fact has proved that I was wrong. I cannot concentrate on my project and continuing in this way will be disastrous for me. The competition has grown daily fierce in our fields. Professorship will be a long shot if I donot quickly get me out of this bog.
I know I will never forget you and your tenderness as long as I live. And I know you will live well without me. So do forgive me. I know I will miss your calls and your sweet voice in the days to come, but I will get used to it. I have to be so, because god will take away the precious things if I donot prize it. What is most precious for me: my years of reading and study. It is time of harvest now, but I lack the will to go to the field because of you. Within a short period, the blizzard will come and turn the ripen corn fields into waste land.
Under pressure I sometimes work harder, sometimes stay put. My vagrancies are absurd. You can ignore them completely. You can laugh at me and my naivete. You can also take pleasure in not having married a foolish and unpractical guy. All is well that ends well. May God bless you.
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