It's been quite a while since I wrote an English blog last time.   the past few weeks have been a whirlwind for me.   at first, my best friends from high school came over to Beijing for some meeting, so we've got our precious chance to get together and have fun.   every day for every week, we'd meet at a fancy restaurant and order some food that we haven't tried before.   then we'd go karoke or dance club, or theatre for a change.  i remembered there was a time that I only had 6 hours of sleep altogether for three days in a row: the first day we went back to the hotel at about 5am, and I woke up at 6:30 and returned home to wash and change; the second day i was the only one who still managed to stand and sing till 7am in the morning, the others fell asleep in the sofa at the karoke house long before; the third day, i couldnt hold up any more, so went back home at about 2am and slept for about 4 hours, and then the daytime would be the time to go out and get wild again.

 

we've talked about so many things that we missed over the past few years in each other's life.  we've laughed about the stupid and silly things we once did back in high school.  we've teased and mocked about those teachers with all kinds of bizarre idiosyncrasy and the troubles we used to make, the rules we used to break.

 

it's so odd that I'd laugh so hard and have so much fun with them.  but when I came back and rested in bed alone, I'd always get teary and welled up.   i miss the good ol' days so much and all the things we did together, all the people we met or never got the chances to meet again.    except a few best friends, everyone's life would be paths once crossed in the past but will never converge in the future.  it's so easy to get nostalgic and melancholy.  it's maybe what they call growing pains.  but we will have friends, memory and wisdom called gains.    it's hard to see them off at the railway station.  but it's sad truth that gathering is always swift and temporary, while separating is common and permanent.

 

today, a good friend of mine called me and told me her boyfriend dumped her. i feel sorry and sad for her.  her boyfriend is also a great friend of mine.  i love and care about them both.   that's why i dont like how it turns out and i dont want to get involved in their personal love life either.  the girl went to the boy's home but he refused to see her or return her calls.  love is so uncertain and ever-changing like an untamable beast.  when it's gone or the other one does not love anymore, it's time to let go and move on.  i always think, you've got to be yourself first, be an individual, be your own person.  only then can you love others or establish relationships like friendship or marriage.  you've also gotta go with the flow and let nature takes its course.  it's so common that people would fall in love with others who will never love them back the same way.  letting go is also setting oneself free.

 

this afternoon, i went to shopping since the weather is getting warmer and i need new clothes.  some of my shirt and pants are worn and my wardrobe needs a makeover.  there were so many pretty, fancy, fashionable dresses and skirts that i like, but i dont know why.  i just didnt have the mood to buy any of it.  i guess i'm not your typical girl who loves to have a shopping spree at weekends or holidays.   i dont like go shopping too often.  every time, i'd make a list and efficiently arrive at the malls and pick all the things i need, and then bang, get on the bus and come back home.

 

so after about an hour or so, i decided to change the direction and went to a park nearby.  the minute i got in, i felt like finally i'm home!  compared to the flashy, luxurious outfits,  the lake, the trees and the bridges are more my cup of tea.  I took a walk across the park slowly, sang to the songs in my earphones, threw small rocks in the water and helped other couples to take pictures, etc.   I guess that's why I'd rather live in a middle-sized city with splendid natural landscape than a metropolis with all sorts of luxuries and events.   I'm counting everyday to leave this city and embark on a brand new life in a beautiful coastal city.  hope I'll find my paradise ASAP!