the person who was important in my life is my Thailand tourist guide--Mr. Gao Xiaopin. Since I have been to Thailand, everything changed! Where I followed Mr.Gao all day long till the last day we left.

When I was 16 years old, I was in puberty trouble period, although I pretended to be a good student in school, I was seeking something exciting and different. So I borrowed some beautiful skirts from my classmates before heading to Thailand, I wouldn't get go any opportunity to show myself!

Then I met Mr. Gao,22 years old, just graduated from University of foreign language in Thailand, he came to the tour bus wearing a white blouse and a pair of jeans pants, very handsome and charming ,at least I thought so when I was 16 years old!

When I talk to him, he was so nice to response to me, in a quite low noise and warm smile ,I liked ask him question ,part of the reason was he could listen to me ,and response in a polite and comfortable way. I thought he know what kind of person I was. Because I was good at studying and I am so smart that I kept asking questions all the way, and this can reflect on my face.

I thought I have had a sweet feeling to him. I could feel that he want to know me. ( when I was young, the wrong education made me not good at express myself, so I missed many opportunities to nourish my soul and improve the ability of social communication and interpersonal communication),because I didn't know how to express myself, I pretend to be unaware of his care. But , I really want to let him know that I was eager to make friends with him!

He was the first foreigner I met in my life, a Thai, a gentle guy ,who graduated from university, and a tour guide! I just didn't get preparation to make friends with him! nowadays, when I reminded this experience would feel regretted ! And nothing could be more regretted than that in my life. At that time, I didn't command the skills of interpersonal communication.

We talked to each other everyday, but just 2 or 3 sentences, on the one hand, I was happy to talk to him, I can feel that he really care about me, for the first time, I felt my dry and indifferent heart was filled with warm spring, this feeling was so holy ;on the other hand, I really like to talk to him, he was so different, like a book! the inspiration came from my heart that I like to be with him and want to learn something from him. It’s a very pure feeling!

Before I met him, my heart was so dry. So that I didn't know how to express my love and care to others. Mr. Gao showed his care and love to me, and he looked like a mirror ,from which I knew what care is ,and what love is. Now ,I know that Mr. Gao was an excellent tour guide, he knew the knowledge of psychology, he has owned the magic, which can make people feel comfortable! My aunt didn't have chemistry effect to him, or did my younger sisters. So I think it's a magic experience in my life .

At the end of the trip, I still wasn't dare to get his telephone No. or QQ.I just didn't want to break up this feeling. I was so regretted sometimes ,however, maybe it was good for me.

When I came back from Thailand missed him so much that I took him as an example, from this mirror, I knew how to express love to others, at that time, I thought that I can show my love to others if I became a tour guide too, and how good feeling it was when some of the tourists would have a sweet feeling to me or even fall in love with me, or even I can get married with some guy.

But ,the reality beat me. I prepared the exam of entering into University day after day. Mr.Gao was in my heart, just like I was waiting for a proper chance but it has became a promise that never come true!

I was struggling at that time, no one I can share my words! My heart became tough again, I was desperate after I received the offer of university. I just want to be a tour guide ,and I had no idea about my university life at all!

In the second term of my first year in university, I became a member of outdoor travel group, which was organized by a postgraduate student union.

The guy, whose name was Chen liang ,a fellow villiager, who was 7 years old than me, cared about me very much, and I can see Mr.Gao is image from Mr.Chen. Not only that they have the same hair styles, but also they both have enthusiastic and gentle attitudes about life. As I tried to accessed to a new relationship, let's called it "Revolution's romance", just like the relationship between the old generation, I felt difficult to communicate with Mr.Chen. I can't bear such a big pressure, I knew I was a green hand ,and  it became a nightmare in my life! I was painful mentally during my university period . Mr.Chen was a charming guy, every girl like him. Under such a big pressure from others, who are good at academic fields, I found that I have no words with Mr.Chen, part of the reason was because I wasn't preparing for marriage what was Mr.Chen was seeking at that time, the other reason was I didn't prepare for entering the relationship. The university life was more exciting than this relationship .I had to admit that I was too selfish at that time, my mental wasn't mature at all.

Then, you may ask me a question: why I wasn't to be an tour guide from beginning to end? First, I think I have mental disease---My face would turn to flush when I spoke to strangers; Second, what I need then was a belief ,which can make me feel safe and be confident; Third, I need to know who I was ,where I came from first.

Now,it is much more clear in my mind that who I want to be.

When I was in the flight to Thailand,I was impressed by carbin crew very much.They are a good example to me.Even 9 years has passed,I am still persuiting for it.I should insist on that