I’ve written a lot of things before and nearly forget all of them. Sometimes I wrote in my notebook, sometimes I wrote in my computer. Most of things I wrote before are lost now. By accident, I found a novel Changeable World I wrote in junior high school and can not help sighing that I can’t write as well as before even though now I’m 17 years older.

I wrote an article about focusing oneself to do something and thought only a person of convex glass type could be successful. A convex glass can focus all its energy to one point to make it burn. I’m a so-called person and think me inferior than a convex glass. I should abandon all things I’ve written before and try to write something to one point, or at least in the same system.

The novel Changeable World isn’t finished and I think it’s impossible to finish it. Scribble about many things is really meaningless. The guy Atman, originally I decided to finish his biography, which seems to be an impossible thing now. I make him die and feel sorry about him. By reincarnation, Atman becomes Change.

From now on, I should insist on writing about Change. If I’m bored and fail to continue the writing, I can choose reading instead and mustn’t write anything else in both English and Chinese. My English is still bad and can’t express my meaning independently as I do to Chinese. Easier said than done.

There’re so many Chinese authors and there is no need for me to write something in Chinese while my English is still so poor. I liked writing about reality before for I thought fantasy was meaningless. Now I don’t think so. Writing with imagination can give me more freedom.

If I really want to say something else, I must try my best to include it in the life of Change. I like his name because Change is the only unchangeable thing in the universe.

It’s a little late now. Outside of my window, it’s a quiet spring night. The moon is incredibly clear. Again I sat in my little room alone typing on my old computer. The old computer met me in 2005 and I find it works still very well now. Every time I see moonshine and tree shadows, I’d always like making a poem, but never succeed due to the lack of talent.

Among all my acquaintances, there are several people with literary talent. Liu Yang has talent but no time, so I can’t read his works. ZYM has talent, but now she gets pregnant and will be a mother soon, so I can’t read her works either. ZWJ was Miss Literary of my senior high school, but now she becomes a saleswoman, so I never expect to read something from her. In a word, everybody is struggling for life.

I still have a dream in my heart and that’s why I love reading literary works. When I’m tired of reading, I’ll write, then get tired, read again. My time has been killing like that gradually, but I have no regret. OK. It’s time for me to sleep now, after all, I still depend on technology to support myself and have to work tomorrow. Maybe I can make Change come to the world tomorrow. If one day I’m tired of writing about him, I’ll make him die again such as I did to Atman.

When I stayed at home, seeing familiar scenery outside of window, I felt I could write a lot, it was a pity the whether was really cold that I couldn’t type comfortably. A famous writer has money to support the rest of life and then reads and writes in a quiet place. Aha, really merry life.

In a word, have to face the reality. Work well, have a hobby to make my life colorful, by the way, the hobby is reading and writing. Use technology to support myself so that I can read and write for love instead of money. That’s not a bad thing for it makes me no pressure at all while reading and writing. Blah,blah,…a load of crap. Turn off the light and sleep.