Register Login
DioEnglish.com Return Index

bluephoebe's Space http://www.dioenglish.com/?5259 [Favorites] [Copy] [Shares] [RSS]

Blogs

A longtime battle

456 views. 2018-4-22 17:52

Bulging disc is such a caprice bitch.

 

Yesterday he felt better. Inspired by a patient’s recovery diary, he went out for a walk. He walked about 2000 steps, and then he started to complain about the pains on the right calf.

 

Today, it grew worse. This time, he didn’t withdraw into his bed. Instead he continued exercise—walk, and he managed about 1000 steps. And now a new symptom raised up. He started to feel his leg growing numb.

 

I didn’t know what to say. Should I encourage him to go on? Or should I need to repeat the words that I’ve said thousand times in the last two months, words like: “It’s Okay. You just need more time to get better”, words supposed to comfort but surely would fail.

 

I found myself felling into the terrible old habit of silence. There are emotions, burning inside me, that threat to come out for some terrible outlets. I need strengths first to put a brake on that.

 

 

It’s has been only two months. But what I relate to this disease is so much broader than it was when my husband was first diagnose with a bulging disc several years ago.

 

I know all the tricks she plays. First she knocks you down with penetrating pains, then crippled you mentally through long-time lying bed, and eventually erodes your will, and undermines your courage.

 

The girl in the dairy used a whole year to get fully recovered. She has a spirit and she is a fighter. She couldn’t afford a surgery, but she beat that bitch down. After 8 months lying in bed, she started to fight back. Cant’ stand up? No bid deal. She could crawl. She crawled until she bruised all her body. Can’t walk straight? So what? She walked, slowly, funny and painfully. 50 miles, 100 miles, 500 miles. And she won, won back her health and dignity.

 

However, neither of us has such a spirit.

 

She also has a great husband, always supportive, loving and caring.

 

I want to ask her husband, what he would do to comfort a depressive spouse when he is almost eating alive with worries and doubts himself?

 

Does he also have an unstable career and have to deal with pressures of losing it every day?

 

Do they have a teenager boy, who actually think it’s fun to lying in bed like his father and there is no use to work hard, because once you get sick, you are going to be screwed any way?

 

What he would do, when no matter what he says, and his spouse still indulge in craps from Baidu and believe that the worst fate has stored in for them?

 

Does he also suffer from insomnia?

 

I know bulging disc is no more than a bluffing bitch. Theoretically it is not lethal. You just need to deal with her with patience, persevere and courage. You just need to have that spirit, to be toughed up, to give a middle finger to that bitch and say: “I’m not afraid you and get fucking out of my life.

 

I know it, but she is still tearing me apart, bit by bit. All my brave look and smile is just a pose, but that’s what all I got now. 

 

Comment (0 replies)

facelist doodle 涂鸦板

You need to login first Login | Register

每周一篇英文日志,坚持一年,你的英语能力将发生质的飞跃!

DioEnglish.com --- A Nice Place to Practice English and Make New Friends!

English Writing, English Blog, English Diary, 英语角, 英语写作, 英文写作, 英语交流, 英语日记, 英语周记, 英文日记, 英语学习, 英语写作网, 英语作文大全

Website Rules|Contact Us|茶文化|英文博客网 ( 京ICP备06064874号-2 )

GMT+8, 2024-3-29 20:54

Powered by DioEnglish.com

© 2008-2013 China English Blogs

Top