We hired help recently. Honestly at first I was totally against the idea. It’s just three of us and I could certainly manage all of the house chores. I could manage it when I got a work to do, why not now?

However, after I broke about ten bowls (one of the side effects of chemotherapy---you are losing your grip in every possible means) and fought like a hundred times with my husband, I changed my mind. Besides, I will have a surgery, so, sooner or later we will need help.  

I don’t have much complaints about our part-time nanny. She doesn’t talk much and she has an accent so I don’t understand her very well. That’s really fine with me. I am not talkative anyway.

She does help me a lot in cleaning and tidying up, and now our home is much more pleasant to look at. She frees me from so many works so I could spend more time with things I really like to do. Most importantly, when my husband complaint something like :” What a mess here!”, a kind of matching fury would stop to rise within me. I can’t keep my inwardly fury in check because of the injustice of it, the ridiculousness of it. I do everything and you do nothing, so I take blame for everything.

However, something happened and my husband wanted to change her. At First, she asked three days off during Labor holiday, and then three days become five days. Yesterday, she asked another day off because her mother in law was in hospital and she borrowed 2000 yuan from me.

My husband started to doubt her credibility. He gave her a call but she didn’t give him a clear explanation. Personally, I think we should not jump into conclusion that she’d lied. Hospital is chaos. For a person of few words, it’s not easy to put words into clear order in chaos. And if it’s true, it is not nice to fire a person in difficult situation.

Perhaps we should wait and see for a few more days. Life is a hard battle, for everyone.