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I don't know what to say

Hot 1196 views. 2020-10-16 10:44 |Individual Classification:Daily Life

I always feel a little bit exhausting in a conversation with those talkers, who go on and on without a pause to listen, and whose voices often overlap in their desperation to tell their stories.


I always feel like I need a lie-down after talking with them.


It’s worse if it happens to be your father. And it is even excruciating, a torture if it happens to be a father, who has been out of your life for 20 plus years and suddenly desperately wants to show you how great a father he really is.


He knows nothing about you and he certainly has no intention or patience to find out. He just talks and talks. But you could never synchronize your conversation with him, and you could never achieve a natural rhythm no matter how hard you’ve tried. It’s like you are living in different time and space, and somehow the blanket of time folds up and force your lives to overlap in the most uncomfortable way.


Oh, this is really beyond awkward, exasperating and any word you can think of.


Last night my father gave me a call. Once again, he recited his bitter litany of his care for me, our terrible health care system, his horrified loss of his friends over cancer treatment, again and again, on and on.


Wait a minute, isn’t a social code that you never mentioned failed cases in front of a cancer patient? Should people be supposed to tell them successful stories instead, you know encourage them to forge ahead? Is my biological father really trying so hard to persuade me to give up my treatment? Seriously.


Every time, the same story. I usually erected a barrier of polite silence to hide my irritations. However, last night I was too tired to play a good daughter. I jumped right in without waiting a pause—I would never get it anyway, and I asked him: How many cancer patients you know get recovery without any treatment?


He murmured something like “Of course, it’s your call.” And he switched his topic to give me a lecture on how to raise up my son. I should step back, let him grow as he wants to. He is not a talent and I shouldn’t expect him to be an artist, and push to him learn drawing.


I really regretted sending him the pic of my son drawing. For the record, he likes drawing and that’s his way to pass time during the summer holiday. It helps him to let off the steam and I never, never expected him to be an artist. I had no idea where he got this illusion from.


This time, I didn’t bother to explain. And I need more than a lie-down.


Post comment Comment (1 replies)

Reply teadrinking 2020-10-16 11:49
We usually meet this kind of situation that no one around knows the right way to talk with. So it is really hard to find out or encounter such kind of a person who can fully understand and respect to have a nice conversation. Sometimes we pretend to be polite to answer and reply with fake smiles. The best method I think is to ignore such kind of a person, even the one is our parent. By the way, you have already done well in terms of treatment. Hope you are well and live in peace.

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