Writing is always a powerful weapon for me. It helps me to let off the steam. It can mitigate the impacts of a lot, like anger, frustrations, and bitterness. However, I’m not sure this time if it could work well with this numbness.

Good news and bad news.

Good news is that I got my certification, which proves that I’m no long fit for a job so I can apply for my sick retirement.

Bad news, which I refuse to believe, is that my CT scan shows that my bone cancer might spread to my humerus. Of course, they need further checks to finalize it.

This news filled me with a denial numbness. It must be a false alarm, must be. If your desire to survivor is strong enough, it surely can overpower the cancer. I’ve always been positive; I’ve tried so hard to be positive. So this can’t be true. Besides, I don’t feel pains in my right arm. There is a lot, on my left shoulder, on my back, but it never goes to my right arm. So, this must be wrong.

I still have the chance to prove it, to turn around the table, to shout at the world: Life is a bitch but I’m a survivor.

Right now, I won’t let it bother me too much so I continue my life as usual.