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Inner drive is a bitch

Hot 1142 views. 2020-11-12 18:16 |Individual Classification:Daily Life

I am behind almost everything. I haven’t written for like decades; I missed a whole week’s EMF and I didn’t go any further either in Educated or The Thirteen tales. Today, I finally settled down for some reading.


I could come up with a lot of reasons to explain that. I had the hospital runs to make, process for sick retirement to go through and I also had that cramping, sharp, stabbing, gnawing pain on my toe. My nail grew inside and wedged into my flesh, which got so badly infested that it formed a big blister pustule.


The doctor said that he had to pull off my whole nail. During the process, I grasped my husband’s arm tightly and screamed like a baby. In the end, the doctor had to give way and only clipped half of it.


It pained like hell but after that savage torture, I do feel a lot better.


Then it came double 11. Happy birthday. Who would want to learn it away in such a day? After all it’s my second birthday since I got cancer and the whole nation went crazy about it with such a spending fever. Okay, I admit that I was carried a little bit away. 


None of these excuses is lame, but an excuse is still an excuse. I guess there was always a tiny voice deep inside my heart and that voice was whispering: one day you’ll get life back and be prepare, girl.


And now, that voice is hushed. I’m retired, what’s the point of learning, or precisely, what’s the point of hard-learning? Go for a happy learning instead, no schedule, no aim, learn it whenever the mood of learning strikes you.


Somehow, today I find myself going back to my old routine and trying to catch up with my old schedule. Okay, fine, old habits die hard. Just do whatever you want.

Post comment Comment (1 replies)

Reply teadrinking 2020-11-12 20:37
A thorn from a cactus just tortures. Any of a pain from issues does hurt deeply into heart. May you are well and Happy birthday.

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