Reading, writing, listening, and speaking. Honestly, it never occurred to me that among all of these reading would become the most challenging item for me.

I’m talking about IELTS exam here. I know it sounds a little bit crazy for me to give it a try at IELTS. Who am I? 46-year-old women who already retired and who are suffering from stage four cancer. What’s the point of taking this exam? I should join in the Chinese Dama in square dance instead, not to chance an exam that way beyond my abilities.

What can I say? I need to add some meanings into my life. A short-term goal that diverts my attentions from my disease into something more positive. IELTS just came into my mind, so IELTS it is. I haven’t made my final decision yet. Until now, it’s still just a thought. I start to take some exercises, dapping in here and there, trying to figure out if I could put this thought into action.

So far, I have to admit that I really got stuck in reading.

I am an avid reader. Unfortunately, I only read what’s gripped my mind, that is, the stories, the novels. In IELTS, you need to read long assays. I find it hard to focus, with my mind keeping wandering around into something else. Besides, my terrible memory also got in the way. Words with the information it’s delivering slip away like water from the duck, leaving nothing for me to capture, to summarize, to draw upon.

It normally takes me double time to finish a passage. I’m not sure how far I could go with more practice. Luckily, there is no pressure. Perhaps all I need to do is to keep practicing without thinking too much about the result.

Even I failed, what’s the big deal? It’s not bad to learn English in a more systemic way anyway.