We are on our winter holidays now. As the infections spread so fast among students , we have to finish our teaching in advance to avoid more infections. Therefore I came home from school a few days ago and am almost accustomed to the lifestyle at home. As for work, I have to keep an eye on my students' homework and push them to study and for me, there are also many things to do , such as reading, exercising, having fun and the most important thing is to find out my favorites and my goal . I always can't figure out what I really want, and feel confused . I need time to think about my life, my work and what kind of person I want to be, since I am easily disturbed by the surroundings, especially by my father who I found is selfish ,look down opon women, and can't stand other's weaknesses at all, which makes me sorry and also crazy . It gradually comes clear to me that I don't want to be controlled by him any longer Thus I hate staying at home sometimes, but I can't escape from it for now, What I can do is learn to stay with this uncomfortableness peacefully . I want to be more independent, and have my own opinions . I wish one day I'll be stronger to face all the difficulties by myself since my family can't give me good advices and and make the choices bravely even though which would be proved wrong in the future.