Clues That You Should Get Offline

    You name your children Eudora, Hyperlink and dotcom.
    You turn off your modem and get this awful empty feeling, as if you just pulled the plug on a loved one.
    You spend half of the plane trip with your laptop on your lap... and your child in the overhead compartment.
    You decide to stay in college for an additional year or two, just for the free Internet access.
    You laugh at people with 28.8-baud modems.
    You start using smileys in your snail mail.
    You find yourself typing "com" after every period when using a word processor.com
    You refer to going to the bathroom as downloading.
    You can't call your mother because she doesn't have a modem.
    You check your mail. It says "no new messages." So you check it again.
    You don't know what gender three of your closest friends are because they have neutral screen names and you never bothered to ask.
    You move into a new house and decide to Netscape before you landscape.
    You tell the cab driver you live at http://1000.edison.garden/house/brick.html
    After reading this joke, you immediately forward it to a thousand of your closest friends.