Is it funny?

Most of the time, i am wondering why i am working now. After ten years, then what should i do? Still working for others? If it is possible to have my own career. I am not sure. Since i am the one with a lot of worris and conflicts before making a decision . Sometimes, the decision i made was wrong, So i am afraid to make any decision. But i won't to live in this way. It seems that the life is meanless for me. without any aim in my heart but just work like a clock.

Every week i told myself to continue studying CORALDRAW and learning english or to write some essays , make some readings . But i did not put it into practice or insist on. I know actually, It is my problems. But i do not know how to change myself or improve myself.

In the past years, Our company request us to make some aims before the begining of next year, But now I had changed my job, In this factory. No one care if you have aim or not. The just request you to finish the work without any fault. And work for them even overwork.

So i am aimless now. It seems that i am standinf at the crossing road now and i do not know which way should i go? Right or left?

I hope i should take 1 day to think about the question carefully.