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If you want to follow your dreams, you have to say no to all the alternatives--w

Hot 3928 views. 2016-5-2 18:49 | dreams, goals, achievement

written by oliver emberton

Our brains behave like a beachball filled with bees. Hundreds of conflicting impulses, pushing us in different directions.


People never want to do one thing. We want to do
 all the things. We simultaneously want to exercise and to learn Spanish and to go out for pizza. Our desires are countless, independent agents, working to nudge our beachball in their own selfish direction.

And so usually, that ball is going nowhere. It’s controlled more by the terrain than by the will of what’s inside it.

 

This is how most people live their lives. We feel endlessly conflicted. We never have enough time. And what happens to us is stronger than our ability to combat it.

Let’s fix that.

The curse of the ‘great idea’

Imagine if 20 years ago you were a genius who had the idea of starting up Google, and Amazon, and Facebook. You just invented three of the best business ideas of the last century, and if you had started any one of them you could now be worth billions. But if you were determined to do all three simultaneously you’d be absolutely nowhere.

It’s not enough to have great ideas. Lots of people have great ideas. The problem is that too many great ideas cancel each other out.

 

This is why a committee of smart people is called an “idiot”. Leadership doesn’t work in volume. The more directions you’re being pulled in, the less distance you’ll travel.

How people achieve the impossible

Imagine an insanely ambitious goal for yourself. Say you want to write a book, or land on Mars.

If you absolutely had to do that – if your life and the lives of everybody you cared about depended upon it – how would you? How could you?

You’d simply drop everything else. You’d become one giant bumblebee, pushing in one direction, and you’d move very, very quickly:

 

Monomaniacal focus on a single goal is perhaps the ultimate success stratagem. It’s a pattern found in everyone from Edison to Einstein. When you’re able to focus on a single goal, constantly, your achievements reach their theoretical limit:

 

Most people aren’t failing because of their potential. They’re failing because their potential is spread in too many directions.

How to tame the swarm

You will always want to attempt more than you can achieve.

Unfortunately pulling yourself in too many directions is the single quickest way to ensure failure. And putting your all into a single direction is the quickest way to ensure success.

So try this:

1.    Aim higher. If your ambitions are small, they’re easily overpowered. Big goals are paradoxically more likely to stick because they’re worth ignoring smaller goals for.

2.    Limit to three. Keep up to three lists for different parts of your life – say ‘work’, ‘home’ and ‘weekend’. Each list only gets one objective. If you absolutely must have more, just know that each addition quarters the odds of that area succeeding.

3.    Put it off. Anything which isn’t top priority now can be done optimally later. Mark Zuckerberg was smart to start Facebook first and then learn Chinese. Your goals are the same, you’re just usually too attached to them in the moment to notice.

4.    Beware your idle wants. Watch out for ‘other things that you also want’. They will feel comforting, harmless, and automatic. They are deadly. One new direction will quarter what you can accomplish.

5.    Line up your bumblebees. You may not be able to create the next Google, cure cancer and land on Mars at the same time. But you might be able to simultaneously become, say, a successful and athletic CEO. Success and fitness can be complementary goals: a healthier person can be a better leader. They’re like two bumblebees, pushing in the same direction, and stronger for it.

 

The few people who have achieved the most staggering, world changing things with their lives didn’t do so by dividing their intentions. They aimed high, got their bumblebees in line, and said no to all the other opportunities that life presented them.

If you want the power to follow your dreams, you have to say no to all the alternatives. It’s not easy, but if that’s for you, at least you know the price.

Post comment Comment (4 replies)

Reply sunnyv 2016-5-2 19:42
Quite appropriate to compare people with beach ball filled with bees. Sometimes, we set our aspirations too high and try to achieve too much. It is not wrong to try hard to make achievements, but we need to consider our own capability. It is all give and take. An ounce of effort for every ounce of reward.

We sometimes regret not try our best to succeed in our prime age, but it is always easy to talk with hindsight. Everything needs careful thoughts and planning. Prepare yourself well and grasp the opportunities as it arise. Taking action at the right time and right moment counts.
Reply teadrinking 2016-5-2 21:57
That is right. We always have so many dreams or goals while we can focus on few of them to have them done. Since time goes whatever we are doing, it never waits for us. And life is short, we can have all things done in our life and at a time. So we have to choose something we want. That is what we say, "one step at a time". Never gonna be distracted by other things.

We know much of those ways and suggestions, while we do not have that power to do something great. The most important reason is that we are easily to be lost. Particularly, at the time when we can not see the consequence as we want, so will be totally lost then and give up.

Those successful people are always with high disciplines and strong ability of execution. Once they say something, they meant it and then just have it done. No complaint, no fear, no procrastination, only action according to the plan.
Reply shilly 2016-5-3 14:08
we don't have so many energy, concentrate on most important thing we will have great chance to success, easier said than done, desire is always endless.
Reply sweetolive 2016-5-4 10:30
shilly: we don't have so many energy, concentrate on most important thing we will have great chance to success, easier said than done, desire is always endles ...
HI, Shilly, Yes, just discover one important thing which excites you, you love, you are passionate about, and spend most of the time on it, you’ll get reward one day.

Actually, in the past at least 10 years, I spent all my effort on English learning, eventually, I am working with Aussies. I can’t say my English is good enough, so I am still learning, good luck for you.

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