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Am I rude

Hot 1132 views. 2018-5-15 20:43

Probably it was out of control as I shouted at a man in front of colleagues at the office which I have never done things like that in my life.


After lunch, I was working at the computer helping a consultant Aussie lady fixing profit and loss balance sheet.


At that moment, there’s voice from a Singapore man, “Sweetolive; it was very rude you left the kitchen at lunch!!!!”


I was concentrating on work without noticing him, “Hang on...”After a while, I realized what he’s talking about.


If he’s kidding, that’s all right, but I have already got upset with the man as I wrote in the blog: Value and Rapport.


I was trying hard to ignore him without telling his bad manner to someone else as I was gonna focus on positive things for being a happier person.


Sometimes you just wanna do a good job and go home, but someone won’t happy about that, they think they are superior and try to control you.


The man has kept telling my behavior was either rude or wrong for many times with no reasons.

That’s what happened at lunch; I went to the company kitchen, a long table was full of colleagues, there was only one seat left; meanwhile, an Aussie young man came in.


He was very polite,“No worries, you can sit there, I will find the other one.”


I looked at the table, it was very crowded, and then I said: “No, no, you sit, I can have lunch in the office.” And then I left.


I can’t get it what’s wrong with me? At the eyes of that Singapore man, I was rude no matter what I was doing.


If he treats everyone like that, I would not say anything, but I doubt he would say the same words to a boss, a manager or other colleagues, just because I am new to the company?


I was not happy and couldn’t help shouting at him in the office:“This is Australia, a multi-cultural country, you should respect the different culture, and everyone has the freedom to do what she likes.”

The man didn’t expect my loud voice, after a while, I continued:“There’s nothing wrong or correct, in this country is wrong, in another country is correct, you can’t use your value and standard to request people to do what you like, and that is very rude.”


“Sweetolive, but I said that in a polite way.”


What? I was gonna tell him, no matter how soft voice you were using, if you said negative words to a new staff, that was very rude, do you understand?


The man didn’t reply me as he would not like the boss to hear the arguments.


Then I told myself: “Calm down, calm down.”


I  wanna tell him again: “If you consider yourself as a CPA or a team leader, please focus on the big picture and take responsibilities, then people will respect you, that’s what my previous manager did.”


No one would like to listen to a person who only cares about trivial things without knowing how to do a proper job at all.


If someone has passion teach people how to be a better person, then please change the career and find the right place, a person has the title in accounting doesn’t mean he's specialised in life coach because he can’t be everything.

  Now I am relieved. I am becoming a stronger person and no longer afraid of saying “no” to      someone who is mean and dishonest, this might be the power of reading and writing.

What we work in a company is not about come to a workplace to listen someone tells you how to be a better version of his standard, it’s for our happiness.


Only if you are real to yourself, then other people will respect you.


I love what Eleanor Roosevelt said:

“It’s your life, but only if you make it so. The standards by which you live must be your own standards, your own values, your own convictions in regard to what is right and wrong, what is true and false, what is important and what is trivial.”

Since the argument, something happened dramatically. At that night, the Aussie consultant lady called me: “Are you ok? No, we don’t think you are rude, you know, the other two Aussie girls told me he was very rude to you and you were right.”


“That was very nice to hear, and I am feeling much better now,” I said.


“Well, I will let him apologise to you, thanks for your help, we all like you work here, you are doing a great job, you have made the profit and lost balanced which it hasn't been done for more than one year.”

One day, when there's nobody in the office, the man said sorry for what he did: “Probably I used the wrong tone.” “No worries,” I told him.



“Sweetolive, I would like work with you.” The other Aussie girl told me. “And also I can be your referee as you have been keeping updated which is amazing!!! It hasn’t been like that for a long time.” the girl said loudly the early morning in front of the other colleagues.


“Awesome, Sweetolive!!!!” everyone was thrilled including the boss except the Singapore man didn’t say anything.

He doesn't care much about work; he only focuses on relationship whether you listen to him or not.


“I have said nice words to the boss about you.” That’s what he told me.


Thanks very much, but wait a minute, why he makes me feel that I have to be a good friend and keep secret for him, no matter how lousy job he’s doing, I should shut up mouth without saying anything, then he will tell the boss I am a good employee.


Sorry, man, I can't do that, because it’s not me, I can’t live the way under his value and lose my standard.



Many years ago, everyone said I was a quiet and sweet girl, I know that’s not true because I couldn’t stand out to be myself.


Once I was educated how to be a good girl, that means whatever teachers and managers’ opinions were correct, you couldn’t say “no” to them.

You had to respect and obey them, no matter how stupid they were; you had to listen to them because their positions were higher than yours; you had to hide your personality and say: “Yes, you are right, boss.”


I am proud of myself as I am changing, I can be myself and be a happier person because that's the reason we work and earn money.

please join my wechat subscription: Englishpassion if you enjoy my blogs

Post comment Comment (2 replies)

Reply wangjide01 2018-5-16 10:40
I think veracity was an honour when I'am still a boy, but I think it is a criticism now.  We should voice our opinions and advice rather than passively accept them.  You are right.  Your behavior earn the respect of others.
Reply sweetolive 2018-5-18 10:51
wangjide01: I think veracity was an honour when I'am still a boy, but I think it is a criticism now.  We should voice our opinions and advice rather than passivel ...
Thanks , yes, we should be true to ourselves than making others happy by ignoring your feeling, we are born of equal :D

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