This topic deals with the innate need of humans as well as any other living creatures.

     The plants, in the forest, climb tenaciously higher and higher for what, the sunlight, which provides energy; the carnivores like the lions and leopards, fight fiercely between each other sometimes at the expense of life, for what, the mating right, which ensures the propagation of his seeds; we humans strive to lead a good life, for what, the satisfaction of both physiological needs and psychological needs: food, sheltering and sex being primitive, respect, recognition and personal achievements being spiritual.

     The animals and plants will be bothered less by the feelings of affection and desertion as long as they were not hungry, but humans can go to extremes when spiritual needs override physiological ones. Some lay down their lives for glory, some die for love. Our brain seems more intricate and complicated than we ourselves realize.

   These days I thought less of our relationships, even less of the future. We are not on the same footing now, baby. You have fulfilled your desires, at least for the present, I still a beggar. I cannot be choosy now. Hunger will drive even the most rational man mad. I have to find other ways to meet the least needs of physiology and psychology. So I will open my door and windows to let the sunshine in, warming and brightening the cold and empty room.

     Living a healthy life is the top priority now. Reading and writing will still be the mainstay of my style, enjoying music and going to swimming the inseparable parts, going out with friends and going to the theaters an occasional pastime. So I will be a full man again, better than the former self.

   Baby, life is a theater, each being an actor on it. We grow to be strong, yet with growth we ages. Sometimes I think life is like a game, the greater the risk, the bigger the reward. We are two persons born alike; only miracles can bring us together again. The fact is: are we waiting for it to happen or rather not happen at all. The hustle and bustle of life will keep you and me busy in the future, fighting for not in common but for different goals. We are bound to drift apart, even though at heart we are linked. You can call me at your convenience but I cannot when I need you. The gap is too wide to bridge. Even though we donot know how to cope with situations like this now, we will. It is much more painful for me to miss you than you. I have to bury our feelings inside the chamber of my heart, waiting for someday you might reawaken it. I will always cherish our sacred feelings. It is unimaginable that we will be cold towards each other.

     Today Sister Rani in Macau wrote me two letters, first expressing her pity not having watched the program, second telling how happy she is knowing that I am successful. Her letter makes me very happy. You see, our needs sometimes can easily be satisfied with little. I appreciate what you have done in the past. Surely I shouldn’t use words like this. Anyway I have to admit to it that you have changed my life. You are very dear. I have learnt how to value what belongs to me and desire not what isn’t mine. Thanks to god, my flames for you now have burnt out, leaving only smoldering ashes, which with another torrent will be completely flushed away. This Sunday for the first time since we wet, I no longer missed you both psychologically and physiologically. The first step was taken, the hardest step. Like the morning sun rises up slowly, then after breaking up the dense fogs and dark clouds, jumps clear of the horizon, shines dazzlingly on the earth. My dear, donot worry about me. I will make something in the future as long as I am healthy.

Last night  an episode of cough attacked me, I woke up in the mid of night, took some elixir and slept till 11 o’clock in the morning. It is good living alone: no one will disturb you and you can do whatever one likes. Isn’t it comforting to think so?