I think something must have changed in myself but I am not that sure. I am a profound pessimist about life and I am used to being discouraged at the beginning of everything even if there is a promising future. I am still not brave but I think there is going to leave a place for hope in my heart. I still have a lot of things to do, but I want to write down my feeling right now, or I will forget it. I don't know why, but I usually can find another "I" staring at me all the time, laughing at me and saying that it's useless. Whenever I take examinations, it will appear and stop me from being patient. Whenever I show a big laugh, it will appear and say that nothing is enjoyable. Whenever I want to do something positive, it will run to me and stop it. Thank god, this time, it hasn't come yet. It is not a difficult period, I know, but it's quite different from my previous life, lazy and careless. I really want to thank Budda, maybe, because I always waste my time and credit. I played all the time and I promised to him all the time only if he could help me pass an examination. Time and time again, I usually think that he won't help me next time, however, I am always wrong. I failed postgraduate examination because I hadn't treat it with enough passion or anything else and I thought it's too late for me, a bad girl maybe, to get a job. But, everything is so unexpected. I just didn't know, there could be such a kindhearted teacher to lead me; I just didn't know, I could get the chance to be trained to be a teacher. My life has never given me up, so this time I want to learn and try to hold his hand and walk together.