At this age, I don't have a friend to confide in as they are busing doing their own stuff and won’t have the time to listen to the trivial things, so I come here to write.

I'm tired of family life (highly intensive with my kid, her grandma (sometimes her grandpa), and my husband). It is really suffocating, especially when there is no time being myself and don’t gain proper respect as an adult from the elderly living together with us, and when you have a husband who is always avoiding getting into a conflict, doing nothing good, and putting off a discussion or solutions later.
The blame is always on me as I deem myself as a highly sensitive person. So, the best way to extricate myself from potential conflicts is to spend some time and find a space to relieve from these suffocations and panic from inside. That’s why I find a place in a café, put my headphones on, play my favorite songs, crank up the volume really high, pretend to be alone. Now as I write down these words, I’m feeling better.

Next time when you are feeling pain inside your heart, try these steps, I learnt from a Quora poster:

Sit in comfortable place.
Observe what you are feeling.
Notice what kind of thoughts are coming.
Pay attention to your breathe.
Pay attention to your heart beats.
Pay attention to your mind what it is asking you to do, is it want to you to run? imagine you are running. Is it want to beat someone? Imagine you are beating. Do you want to beat a punch bag? imagine you did that.
You might be tired now, take few more deep breaths. You will feel better.

I'm not making it schmaltzy here. Hope that someone who sees this journal would be happy, always.