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Shares Dilimma: bluephoebe 2021-10-22 11:56; Anxiety started to form in my chest. It was building up and then exploded like a grenade. Hands trembling, I swallowed all of those pills down. Perhaps it’s just trepidation, perhaps I was imagining it, but I did feel my stomach churning like a washing machine. Calm down, not that s ...; Individual Classification: C dairy|749 views|1 replies Hot 1

Shares Enough is enough: bluephoebe 2021-7-29 14:56; Dear Dr. Hodges: You don’t know me. That’s fine, because you are just a tool person that I borrow from Elisabeth in What Alice forgot, a ‘person’ that I can be bitchy to without feeling sorry or embarrassed about being bitchy. And you are ...; Individual Classification: C dairy|710 views|1 replies Hot 1

Shares Murphy's law: bluephoebe 2021-4-14 16:34; Murphy's law again turned out to be true. The last experience of buying my lifeline medicine has cast a shadow over my heart. I was worried that something else might go wrong this time. So I decide to buy it a week in advance, even there was something wrong, I still got time to make it right ...; Individual Classification: C dairy|714 views|2 replies Hot 2

Shares Forced to be a trouble maker: bluephoebe 2021-3-24 14:33; Yesterday I spent a whole day at hospital, from 10:00 am to 17:00 pm, finishing a mission impossible---to buy the medicine I need to curb my cancer. “How hard could it be?”” You are thinking too much.” “You complicate things, like always. “Before we go to the ho ...; Individual Classification: C dairy|799 views|2 replies Hot 1

Shares Double Kill: bluephoebe 2021-3-11 12:30; Depression and Fear are going to track me down. I could hear their footsteps right behind—perhaps just one step away. Once they get to me, they will frisk me, empty my pockets of any joy I have, confiscate my identity; sap away all of my energies and leave me a broken sell. ...; Individual Classification: C dairy|737 views|1 replies Hot 1

Shares Let me pray: bluephoebe 2021-3-8 11:39; I finished my radiation therapy. It’s definitely one of those Dear Diary moments. I had gone through all of these: chemo, surgery, radiation. I still need to do regular checkups and take medicines, but the worst of it has already passed by and I survived. I would go ...; Individual Classification: C dairy|665 views|4 replies Hot 2

Shares Radiation Part 1: bluephoebe 2021-2-8 13:43; I got a reward for being the best writer in our group, even I haven’t written a single word for more than one month. It’s so tempting to quit, but, always a but, it’s time to go back to the game. I have an almost perfect excuse: my radiat ...; Individual Classification: C dairy|738 views|3 replies Hot 1

Shares False alarm: bluephoebe 2020-11-5 09:58; Writing is always a powerful weapon for me. It helps me to let off the steam. It can mitigate the impacts of a lot, like anger, frustrations, and bitterness. However, I’m not sure this time if it could work well with this numbness. Good news and bad news. & ...; Individual Classification: C dairy|673 views|1 replies Hot 1

Shares Trapped bird: bluephoebe 2020-11-1 12:25; I t’s the first thorough check after I got surgery. So basically, I need to get my blood multiple tested, and my body, from head to toe, ultrasound and CT scanned. Of course, like always, it takes time and a lot of waiting. And like always, waiting is a bitch. The ...; Individual Classification: C dairy|680 views|1 replies Hot 1

Shares Doctor Phobia: bluephoebe 2020-10-30 09:20; I started to feel nervous several hours before I went to see my doctor. It’s not just about time to do my regular checks, but it is “meeting the doctor” itself pretty stressful for me. First, I didn’t make an appointment with my chemo doctor. There are two teams. ...; Individual Classification: C dairy|735 views|1 replies Hot 1

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