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C Diary: The things make me cry

Hot 1291 views. 2019-6-11 14:42 |Individual Classification:Daily Life

I cried twice. It really took some time for the news to sink in. So at first, you would stay calm. You even remembered to call you boss and asked for the sick leave. For quite a long time, you just didn’t realize what had happened.

And then I received a call from my colleagues on my way home. They were worried about me, and they wanted to pick me up from the hospital. My voice didn’t quiver when I told them that it was not necessary, I was fine and I’d already headed home. However, when I hang up the phone, tears were all over my face.

For the following days, I’ve been trying to brace myself up for it. I know it would be a tough battle, and I need to summon all of my courage, strengths to fight against it. And I hate to put any more stresses on my family. My mum is 70 years old, my husband is on the pills for the depression and anxiety, and my son, my son is faced with enrollment examination of the secondary school.

Crying, or break down is simply something that I can’t afford. I can’t bring myself to allow it. So I’ve occupied with every day stuffs, daily reading and learning, pretending that my life is still the same and isn’t that screwed up.

It helps. The more you don’t treat yourself as a patient, the less you would feel like one.

Today, my final medical test would come out and the doctor would determine my treatment, which means tomorrow, I probably would leave home and stay in the hospital. Everything would not be the same.

I shared my learning record on my moments. I’ve held on to it for 856 days without missing a single day. And I probably couldn’t continue it in hospital. After that, I’ve received a bunch of encouraging, comforting words from my friends, colleagues and family. More than one person left the message, texted me and said: “Just call me if you need any help. I’m here.”

They brought me into tears. It reminds you of the good side of life.
I can’t pretend the hard stuff isn’t hard. I know it’s painful, messy and terrible. But I can handle it. I’ve learned how to approach the pains, the sufferings, and the unknown and I won’t be all alone on this.


Post comment Comment (1 replies)

Reply johnsonwu 2019-6-16 09:26
Carry on and cheer up! In the trouble, nothing is better than the determination to overcome it!

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