I have to admit that helping my son with his homework is still a huge challenge for me. In fact, last night we had an emotional argument. We were yelling and crying, and we were weary in the way that only a mother and son whose relationship is intense can be weary. The reason why I was so irritated is a common one for the parents: Their kids waste their time when they are supposed to focus on their study. I guess such things happen a lot in this prolonged holiday.

A good portion of this trouble is related to his issues, but I also know that I play my part as well. With a reminder of the pending death, I realize that I’ve already wasted away a large chunk of my life. I am trying hard to make it up. I feel guilty of every minute for soaking in life. And I don’t want my son to step in my shoes and experience the same irritating regrets. I mean good. However, I forgot that the nature of a 12-year-old boy it to play. Learning for him is still an obligation, something he has to do instead something he really wants to do. I probably press him too hard.

There are two figures in an intense relationship but I am the only adult. So I have to do the grown-up thing: calm down and apologize.

I wish I could have more controls over my emotions. But sometimes, it is hard. The school might postpone opening and we have to prepare well for our kids to study online at home. Playing our part as supervisor without more conflicts, I should say, would be a great challenge.