There is a routine question in the hospital ward. Every time when a patient had the surgery, the next day when she got up and the other patients would always bring that question up: “Does it hurt?” And you can always get the typical answers, like “Not at all.” “Just a little bit”

Of course, they are big lies. Every one knew that but it still has a little bit comforting power. So this Q&A has become a ritual in the hospital ward.

The truth is it hurts like hell but you had no other options but embrace the pains. On May 18th, I was the last patient who had the surgery, which means I spent a whole day waiting for my turn.

Time stretches like an eternity while you are waiting, especially when you are forbidden to drink and eat. To divert my attentions, I watched the whole “Long vacation”. Somehow Kimura Takuya, the man who has the gentlest smile in the world, could only help that much.

Before the surgery, everyone told me it just takes a sleep to get it down. But they never mentioned what kind a nightmare you would fall into after that sleep. I woke up when the sharp pains penetrated the dullness of my brain, and it continued to suffocate, to torture, to abuse me relentless. For the past year, after going through two chemotherapy, pain has already become an old friend but this time it truly, fully shows its sharp fangs.

Not just my breast, but also my back hurts like hell. I forgot that I got a delicate back. Lying on the bed too long and the pain would come and gnaw every bone of mine. Every cell in my body screamed in pains to protest. Just in a minute, I was soaked all in sweat. Blackout was such a blessing and how I desperately want to go back to sleep.

The nurse had to give me an injection to kill the pains. The longest night in my life finally passed. I insisted to take a walk as soon as I could. The bed in the hospital is like an instrument of torture, I need to get away from it.

When I got off the bed, I heard the all too familiar question: Does it hurt? I paused a little bit, and the typical answer blurted out before I realized: “Just a little bit, nothing we couldn’t take it.”