Blogs
Someone can help? I really need one now, plssss
||
I knew a black guy from Nigerian through my ex-job. I already forgot since when he started sending me texts and asked me out from time to time. Obviously, I knew his 'tricks' of keeping asking me out-wanna me be his girlfriend, cos' I have heard so many stories about how those black people cheated Chinese girls to be their girlfriends or even to be their wives, but I didn't say all of them. I kept turning him down again and again, and to be honest to him about my opnion to him. He was so angry that I compare him with those guys and thought that I insulted him. I didn't mean to do that, but just wanna make everything clear so that he will give up. And I did apologize to him if I did anything offense him.
Later, he almost kept calling me everyday, and chatted me on QQ. Something like miss me, love me and wanna take care of me, blah blah blah....
I cannot deny that I feel a little bit touched by all his caring things after all I haven't dated anyone else for few years and kept closing my heart from others. Girls are very into sweet words from boys huh...it works always I guess. I told him so many times that all we can be just friends and there's no any further we can go. Though he accepted my decision, he still kept trying to turn our friendship into the relationship he wants.
All I want is just be a friend of him and talk like friends, but I failed every time. He kept reminding me of the love he wants from me. I am very confused about my feeling. I did have little feeling on him, but I know it's impossible for him and I to get together. I don't know whether I can trust him or not, and I don't know how I can prove everything that he told me is true. I know he did lie to me about something and that's why I rather choose him as a friend. Friends can be much easier to be honest to each other instead of hiding from each other. It's one of the reasons that I can't choose him. About the other reasons, even more complicated, like culture shock, family opnion, people judgement, etc.
Now, I am really in need of some directions from all of you. What can I do to keep the friendship with him while breaking his hope of getting me as his girlfriend. I don't know how to communicate with him, how to respond to his love, even though I still have doubts on any word he said. Should I really need to stop contacting him?
Post comment Comment (17 replies)
- Reply Qianyan
- If I were you, I would stop contacting him, just as you said, there are many differences in your each way of life, cultures and customs, ect. I think they are not main reasons. The most terrible is it is almost impossibble to know what he told you is true or not. If that is a hoax, it will be a brutal reality.
But, only you know what you really want.
- Reply sunnyv
- First of all, it is impolite to refer to people by physical features like fat woman, short men, bald men, black guys, white guys etc etc. Referring to him as a Nigerian is more than sufficient.
On the subject of your relations with him, clearly you do not have a future with him. He is from a place completely unknown to you and there is no way you can know about his background. You can't even know about him through his friends or through normal ways. When you are talking about a long term relationship, you got to sure that he is trustworthy. Everyone has some negative sides and he may some personality problems. How do you know he is not a violent guy or he may have some bad intention? Sweet words are so easy to say and the pretence of care for you is not too hard to do. Anyone can do it. It is so easy for him to drop you later and you could be left with a lifetime of sorrow and regret.
I cannot say for sure that he is not a nice guy and it could be that he is a guy who loves you but you have to realise that if he turns out to be a cheater, you stand to lose everything and he just disappear without consequences. My advise to you is to don't submit or commit into anything unless you are sure you know everything about him and you would not regret it in future.
On the other hand you also have to consider the long term social impact on interracial love or marriage. The social pressure and family objections could be unbearable to you. This is something you have to think carefully before you decide anything.
Considering the information you have given here, my advise to you is to tell him clearly that you would not think about anything except ordinary friendship. Should he pressure you too much or if you feel insecure of annoyed, then just drop the contacts completely and get on with your life.
Wish you a happy life.
- Reply TinaHo
- sunnyv: First of all, it is impolite to refer to people by physical features like fat woman, short men, bald men, black guys, white guys etc etc. Referring toEverything you memtioned above is exactly the thing I have been worrying about. You are right, but sometimes I just feel hard to refuse people, and I really want to keep the friendship with him. Anyway, thank you for your kindly advices.
- Reply TinaHo
- Qianyan: If I were you, I would stop contacting him, just as you said, there are many differences in your each way of life, cultures and customs, ect. I thinkYeah, he has even asked me what he can do to earn my trust, but I say nothing, cos' I totally have no idea about that too.
- Reply GGYY
- TinaHo: u make me confused nowWhy?I just give you a big smile and want you happy everyday,my friend
- Reply IMNONARCISSUS
- Keep at a distance from him.It seems he is strange to you to a certain degree. Being strange maybe means dangerous. Why not have another young man as ur boyfriend?
- Reply TinaHo
- IMNONARCISSUS: Keep at a distance from him.It seems he is strange to you to a certain degree. Being strange maybe means dangerous. Why not have another young man asI'm not seeing him as my boyfriend, just friend only. But now I have tried to not to answer his phone, his message for a week, it feels so good to stop trying to know him. Since he's not see me as friend sincerely, I don't need to give him any chances to be my friend as well. Let it go~
- Reply geologistchen
- keep calm brain before his sweet words and let your heart decide something.
- Reply TinaHo
- geologistchen: keep calm brain before his sweet words and let your heart decide something.I have seen him through already, even though I still find hard to believe who he really is. But it's ok, let it go and see it as a dream. It's time to wake up and move forward.
- Reply geologistchen
- TinaHo: I have seen him through already, even though I still find hard to believe who he really is. But it's ok, let it go and see it as a dream. It's time toTime will just take everything away,but to find a perfect bf will be your next dream,just realise it,best wishes to you.
