Blogs
One-sided story is not believable
Hot 2 |
Many of us may feel aggrieved when listening to your close friend's complaints of her/his lover's "bad behavior" or ill treatment of her/him. So did I before. I still remember once after hearing the “sad story” of a female friend of mine, I felt very angry about her boyfriend. I thoguht that it was all his boyfriend's fault, and I even doubted his personality. But not for a long time, they got reconciled. Then, I also got a chance to meet her boyfriend. When talking about that thing, it made me surprising that he told me a totally different story. From that moment on, I realized that one-sided story was not believable, and I began to look at problems from an objective way. That experience also reminded me of not drawing rash conclusions. The saying "you can't clap with one hand" was gradually understood by me. Now,when a conflict occurs in my life, I will try to stand on other's position to consider the problem.
As a matter of fact, putting yourself into other's shoes will urge you to be more understanding and tolerant. Today, a story I saw from the TV granted me more confidence that we should look at a thing from both sides. The story is about an unmarrid woman who left her newborn baby in the hospital for three months, later, under the intervention of the police, the woman finally appeared and collected her baby from the hospital. At the beginning, according to the investigation about the woman, we learned that the woman was forced to do that, as her mother didn't agree her marrying her current boyfriend and hid the woman's identity card. Therefore, the woman was unable to get a birth certificate of her baby from the hospital. From the woman, we also knew that she had a deep contradiction with her mother for a long time, who tried all her ways to prevent her from staying with her boyfriend and had told her that if she gave up her baby, she would still recoganize her as her daughter.
You must feel compassion for the woman just from what she said, and wonder why her mother tried to break up the affectionate couple. But, when knowing the hidden story told from her mother, you will understand the mother's doings. Now, it's time to unveil the woman's boyfriend. He, unexpectedly, used to be the woman's aunt's husband (The woman's mother's younger sister's ex-husband), who was divorced twice. The woman said they loved each other and they got together after the man became single again, but it was unacceptable by her mother and the rest of her mother's parents' family. To say the truth, the woman's relationship is also beyond my understanding. I don't want to criticize her, while I also understand her mother's actions. Even in the west, it's hard for people to accept and give comments to such a relationship, needless to say in China, a very traditional and conservative country.
Putting aside the story itself, don't take a one-sided approach to the problems.
Post comment Comment (3 replies)
- Reply sunnyv
- Carol, you appear to be an intelligent girl, highly observant and having an analytical mind. That is great and would enable you to face all the challenges and difficulties in life. I am quite certain that you are envy of members here being able to write so proficiently in English and also have the qualities aforementioned. There is much to learn from your comments and indeed, we should not conclude or judge on the basis on a single-sided story. Quite a lot of people are egocentric, self centered, self obsessed or self serving. They would present their cases made up to their own advantage in order to seek justification. In any argument or dispute both sides have faults, so we have to analyze all the facts before delivering a judgement. OK I am now sounding like a high court judge, so let us just leave it there.
Sometimes, I wonder if it is beneficial to have all these advantages and be too knowledgeable. Seems the more we know, the more worried and tense we become. Just watch the news, disasters, violence, natural disasters, adversities come one after another.
Considering all those never ending challenges, I have more or less resigned to a simple life and avoid all the complications wherever possible. Apparently, this is easier said than done. Somehow, the problems knows their way to you and you just can't escape. Just hope that I can enjoy the harvest for the seeds I have sown years ago. Good luck to everyone.
- Reply carolyayayaya
- Well, thank you. Your compliments are very useful for me.
sunnyv: Carol, you appear to be an intelligent girl, highly observant and having an analytical mind. That is great and would enable you to face all the challe ...
That might because I am now on a long vacation, and I have enough time to do some self-reflections the sense certain things.
There are so many disasters, tragedies and violence in today's world. If you have seen the Book of Revelation of the Bible, you would know why. Most disasters were actually caused by human beings themselves. Food insecurity, environmental degradation, weird diseases, high unemployment rate....the occurrence of all these things is due to mankind’s rational pursuit of individual self-interest without considering the future generations.
I don't have to say much, everyone knows clearly that it's our own fault. But everyone wishes to see other people's change instead of doing some little things from themselves. I used to read an article written by Mo Yan, he told that one of his relatives hated those officials and their corruptions. And this relative would grind his teeth with hatred once talking about those officials. But, one day, he carried some money to Mo Yan's house. As the son of this relative didn't get enough scores to enter the best middle school in the county Mo lives, and this relative hoped that Mo could help him.
It's too ironic, isn't it? When coming into our own matters, we seem to be very tolerant. I admit that I am also a selfish person, but I have decided to change myself. Maybe until the end of my life, I am still not a perfect person, but I will be glad to hear people say that you have improved a lot.
- Reply lovingfun
- As for me,if my friends feel low, I will listen to what they say, and make no comment. I would like them to make their own decison, if I think what they have made have something wrong, I tell them what I will do.
Try to treat thing in an objective way, then make a decision on that, we may
make less mistakes.
