During the year 2012, I attended the CCTV Star of Outlook English Talent Competition. This was my third time. I entered the national's primary selection and reached the edge of the national finals during the first time. The second time was so humiliating that i don't even want to talk about it. The third time, i finally got into the national finals of the middle school group.

    i was so happy, and apart from my own talent, i was lucky. it says that the top ten in the primary selection gets the chance to be in national finals. i was ranked at the bottom------10. So i have to say that God was the person i wanted to thank for my "success" as well. Anyway, i was in the top ten and i got to go to the national finals, YAY ME!!! I guess i was overly excited about this since for two days, i couldn't even shut up or stop smiling. i got over excited, and as the old saying goes, AFTER JOY COMES SADNESS. At first i thought that i was the best, didn't even bother to think about my scripts and ideas for the final round, i played and relaxed and shouted at my mother for absolutely no reason. Only one day before the competition, i realized my problem, i didn't have a script, i haven't prepare my music, i don't even have a creative idea! only one night and one day to do all these, i started panicking. Now at that time i began to tell myself that i won't have enough time to be prepared, i wrote a 150 words paragraph and spent 3 hours reciting it, crying and knocking at things, claiming that i cannot recite it. which,now that u think of it, it's totally not true. Mom and dad tried to calm me down, but it didn't work out. So, until the very latest, i realized that i was way blown away by this contest, and that's when i started to calm down. it was pretty late, so i only came up 7th.

    reasons for this is that i overly judged myself at first, but then thought less in myself later. This is a very very bad habit, and this personality can lead to future troubles. so in the future, whenever something exciting or cheerful happens, stay in the same mood range, or else, the thing is going to turn from peace to chaos.