My friend wrote this article long ago. Only that the original was in Chinese. She loved her mother so much yet God took her mother away and she was never able to see her mother again. On one Pure Brightness Day she found herself remembering her mother again and missing her so much. However, she could do nothing but cry over her desk and wrote this article while crying. Tears wet paper she was writing on. This is a reveal of true feelings; I was touched so I translated her article into English here. Hope we will treasure our parents from today on.

How are you going in the paradise? Time flies! It’s Pure Brightness again ( a time in Chinese tradition when we should pay tribute to our passed ancestors). On this special occasion, I find it hard to stop myself from remembering you. Just as that well- known poem says, “ our missing to our dear ones will double on festivals”. Mum, you still remember on each Pure Brightness Day you would boil eggs for us three siblings? You would divide them into three equal piles, placed them on our earthen bed (Kang), and then let my younger brother choose first. It was always a difficult choice for him, and took him quite a lot of time to make his final decision, comparing the three different piles and judging with hesitation which one is better. So much time has passed. Thank God! Now eventually it’s my turn. I would just like him hesitate on the two remaining piles. And then you would say: they are of the same size; I allocated them equally. So I took what belonged to me. The last helping no doubt would go to my elder brother. Looking back on those days, we were not living a materially comfortable life, but we owned the most important thing—parents’ love.

Every year, wheat-harvesting days are always extremely hot. The burning sun is drying almost everything on earth. You were not in good health, but you persisted in cutting wheat crops under the scorching sun. You seemed to be kneeling in the field while working. Father would work hard like a horse. He refused to stop for a rest. We were living poorly at that time but we felt happy because we could feel love from our parents. Today, however everything has changed. You’re gone and we became children without mother. Father remarried, which means we also lost love from our father. Mum, why are you so selfish leaving us alone? Why wouldn’t you think about you children? Mum, you never know: your fruits of sweat are now being enjoyed by another woman. What’s more, we’re constantly required by our father to treat her thus thus and thus way. She is just too picky. Mum, do you know I am crying? My heart is bleeding. Mum, can you feel in the paradise what my heart is going through now?

I’ll never forget the scene when we three (you, my elder brother and I ) were making home-made noodles. You were of a little stature, yet you would try very bit of your limited strength to work on that heavy machine. Elder brother and I were responsible for reeling up the wet and slender noodles. If we didn’t work as expected, you would criticize us. In those days, how we desired to see a rainy day! Brother and I would be kneeling in the yard, praying to God for some rain. Looking back at this, I can’t help wondering how silly we were! We just know nothing about how to be considerate of you, mum.

I will never forget the time when you went out cutting grass to feed our pigs. You would drag our cart, walk a few kilometers, and then snail back dragging that heavy cart now with a full load of grass. Then you would be busy again processing the grass into pig fodder. To support this family, to earn enough for your children’s schooling fees, you never got up later than 5 am. Every morning, you would pick up your whip and drive a flock of pigs to graze them in the wild. You never cared about or grumbled over what you were rewarded with---what food to eat or what dress to wear; years of outdoors hard work made your fine skins coarse and sun-burnt. You see, mum, your children nearly grew up, your good days seemed to be within reach, our new two-storied house was already put up, but then just at this moment you suddenly fell ill. Thinking of this, I feel a heart pain. You have never enjoyed even one day of good life, my poor mum. Sometimes I wonder in my heart for what purpose you came to this world. You came and left like a wind so hastily. You just came for others? Let others be enjoying the sweet fruits of your diligence and hard work meanwhile giving you a backbite? You think it worthwhile my poor mother?

Also fresh in my memory are those days when we were running a small oil mill. You, daddy and grandpa would work all day on that giant, heavy and crackling crushing machine, pushing hard with every bit of your strength. Daddy and grandpa would be half naked, wearing their shorts only, crying their working shouts in unison while working hard as a horse. All the family were as thin as a match stick. Sometimes I was thinking you were extracting not bean oil but you were crushing out your blood. Reflecting on all those hardships you went through, my poor mum, I wonder if you still think what you gave worthwhile?

It almost killed me, mum, when I called you but you could hear me no more. You were just lying there stiff and quiet. The person who gave me most love is gone and my heaven seemed to fall. All these happened so suddenly that I didn’t get even a little prepared. Even I lost my courage to go on living and would rather follow you to heaven if it were not for my little daughter. Mum, why are you so hard with me, and never let me have a chance to attend to you? Why mum……my dear mum?

Mum, today I tasted with my heart what the famous saying really meant, “ children want to be filial while the parent is no longer there”. Also, my heart experienced that kind of sorrow and helplessness hidden in Yu Guang Zhong ’s poem: “ after growing up, homesickness became a low tomb, I am outside, while mother inside.” Mum, how are you going in paradise? Please know your children will miss and love you forever. Time comes and goes, but time can find no way to stop us missing and loving of you. We are living in two different worlds, you in paradise and we on earth, but this will never serve as the reason not to remember or miss you. We love you, Mum.