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Daily assignment - Descriptive Paragraphs.

Hot 1590 views. 2014-8-15 12:46 |Individual Classification:Assignment

 

 

Spotted! Some little yellow creature are approaching! If you see them clearly, thats right, they are bananas!

These bananass skin are bright yellow, just like the others, which evokes your desire for eating. They feel as soft and comfortable as pressing a babys face. Apart from their good touching feeling, they smell fragrant, making you feel a sense of happiness. And more importantly, its nothing but the most delicious fruit. It tastes sweet and a bit of sticky. If you have finished one, you wont helping getting another, and another one all at once.

So, whatre you waiting for? Just start eating!

 


Hey, my friends, I'm looking for your criticize and correction, just shoot at me! 

Post comment Comment (3 replies)

Reply xingyue 2014-8-15 15:03
I think "creature" and "pressing” are a little strange, if they are not a kind of figures of speech. I would like omit "just like others". "Won't helping"? I suppose you wanna say cannot help eating another. Lastly, maybe it should be longer, and I am not good at describing, so my words are for reference only. In fact, I don’t understand the “spotted”.
Reply jaspergaoke 2014-8-15 16:07
xingyue: I think "creature" and "pressing” are a little strange, if they are not a kind of figures of speech. I would like omit "just like ...
If you have watched Gossip Girl. You must know that word "Spotted." It's just for calling people's attention. Thanks for your modest advice and I'll make some improvements next time! (Actually the paragraph is short because I was lack of imagination and I can't figure out what else I could say about that fruit. Anyway, do you have some idea? Feel free to share it ^ ^ )
Reply xingyue 2014-8-15 18:15
jaspergaoke: If you have watched Gossip Girl. You must know that word "Spotted." It's just for calling people's attention. Thanks for your modest advice  ...
Maybe you can add its function or warn that don’t litter the ground with banana peels for I recalling many plots in cartoon. By the way, I think the monkey would be likely to consider it as the most delicious fruit. It seems I’m imaginative and not doing a description. In short, to describe a fruit is not an easy thing.

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