I haven't wrote blogs for several days, because there were a lot of things to do in my class and they are a little overwhelming for me because of their negative energy.

I'm the monitor(is this the correct word? My foreign teacher just call me "Banzhang") of our class so when the new school year begins, I should arrange financial aid for the poor students, rank the scores for the scholarship evaluation, and collect the health-insurance premiums, all of which are not easy.

The saddest part is the financial aid. 

I've heard and seen that there are some students with the poverty certification are not so poor, and that behavior is very shameful. Because in my class, there are 17 students ask for the financial aid, and most of them are really in need. However there are only less than 8 people will get the money in the end. How can we pick up the most proper ones?

Although I’m not the first time doing this job, I take it as a nightmare.

In the past, the poor students are asked to make a speech of their situation, and the others vote for the poorest students. The defect of this method is that students' esteem can be hurt. Yet we haven't found a fair way other than voting, so this time we decided to vote without the speech, because we've known each other very well after 3 years' being together.

After that, I began to sort out the stuff which is very, very sad.

I live in a single-parent family, but my mother has a job and we don't have debts. I’m not poor, nor am I very rich. And I’ve never been exposed to the real poverty before getting into the college. 

We have orphan in my class. 

One girl’s grandfather has cancer, her father has Cirrhosis, her elder brother has CHD, and her family has more than 25000-yuan’s debt.

A girl’s family live on farming, but in this year, her hometown is suffering from drought which means they have no income in this year.....

All these tragedies saddened me too much, I don’t know what to say to those who are not elected asking me tearfully if they can get the money .They just keep telling me that they can’t ask their parents for money.

 I can’t take care of myself yet, let alone helping them. But I’m depressed for them.

I just hope our country’s education can be improved, more students can really learn things from school and can get a well-paid job after graduation, don’t let the poor parents waste that huge amount of money and get nothing in return.