What’s the proof of the Korean TV series“You Who Came from the Stars” is extremely popular? It isn’t the snows appear on your phone’s screen when you typing “Fried chicken and beer” in wechat, nor the national leaders saying that they also have watched it. Instead, it’s our re-recognition of domestic plays: Why we can’t achieve what Korean people are able to?  Domestic plays are criticized mostly because it’s always about the conflicts between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, we can see all kinds of crazy figures on TV everyday. Some people summed that they had found out that “the principal contradiction among the Chinese” is the conflicts between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law after watching the domestic plays.

Apparently Korean drama have being concerning about this collision, too. We can also easily find this eternal contradiction in the drama of Japanese, Thai, Indian,  and all the Asian countries. Suddenly I wonder how people in the US cope with this worldwide relationship? Nevertheless, in American drama, let alone such a relationship, you can hardly even find a species of mother-in-law. The only mother-in -law in The Big Bang Theory is a woman who is too fat to go out of her own bedroom. And in Modern Family which shows the daily life of three families, you can find a step mother who is younger than her step daughter; half sister and brother; gay; even adopted daughter from Vietnam, but you can’t find a mother-in-law.

Obviously this has something to do with the physical distance between American mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. In China, 80% of the conflicts are because of the house, but American don’t have housing problem. Mothers don’t live with their sons before losing the ability of living independently, which greatly reduce the probability of mother-in-law and daughter-in-law being annoyed by each other. In America,attending college means leaving home. That’s why Howard in The Big Bang Theory was sneered at for living with his mother.

American mother-in-law would rather become ally with their daughter-in-law rather than becoming foes. They want to pass on the responsibility of taking care of the young to the next generation just like a relay baton. Nobody thinks is wrong because every generation does the same. Just like Chinese mother-in-law deliver their pain of being oppressed by their mother-in-law to the next generation. This probably is human instinct.

Isn’t there any problem with American mother-in-law and daughter-in-law? Of course not. Having no contradiction is also unhuman. In American drama, there are mother-in-laws who visit their sons too frequently, who like to lecture on daughters-in-law, who pamper their sons too much. Interestingly, the most common problem appear in American plays is like Everyone Loves Raymond shows, mother-in-law asks her son:“ I bet you prefer my dishes than your wife, don’t you?”

Rivalry of mother-in-law and daughter-in-law in the US is always about eating. Although American people don’t seem to be good at cooking, they take eating at home and eating mother’s dishes as the most important thing in keeping harmonious family relationship. Every mother has her own heirloom menu, even it’s avocado paste mixed with potato chips, it’s when she pass the menu to her daughter-in-law that she really commit her son’s life to his wife’s care.

A typical American daughter-in-law would be neither humble nor pushy to her mother-in-law when they are having disagreements. Just like Alisa in Good Wife saying:“ I hope you can understand that I’m in my place, I don’t allow you to meddle in my life and my child’s education.” What’s incredible, commonly the mother-in-law have to accept this reality and apologize. I can only say that American have a good communicating habit.

But in most cases, collision between mother-and-daughter in law would eventually evolve into the argument between mother and son. The son and husband must put his wife in the first place when confronting this situation, and make everyone including his mother knows that. Psychology of the view that mother is more willing to response to their son’s request instead of their daughter-in-law’s.

While the trick of breaking American mother-in-law’s psychological line of defense is too simple to seems like a joke. “Does the woman you chose can bring you real happiness?” As if this is the only problem they’ve worried about all the time.

Now all the son should do is just looking at her eyes, speaking slowly but firmly:”Yes.’ and all the problems can be solved.

via:Ledu365