I am living in the big family including not only my lineal relatives but also collateral relatives. Beforetime, I was an innocent and simple boy not quite catching on the covert meaning of behavior by those relatives. Nowadays, my capability of understanding every move of people are increasingly enhanced as time goes by. However, I pay too much attention to the responses from those relatives about myself and get lost, which leads me to a kind of anxiety. The reason why i am so concerned about the felling of relatives is that i would like to prove myself in order to change my profile in their hearts. In the past, I was not a good boy who indulges himself in the computer games and ignore the external enviroment with the uneducated behavior, carving the troubled boy image in relatives' heart. After I realising the wrongdoing by myself, I continuously polish myself with the aim to win the applause from my relatives and also my friends.

For instance, I took pain to learn English to study aborad. In the course of overseas study for my bachelor degree, I was hardworking and had recieved A ranking in most of the subjects. After finishing the bachelor, I was admitted by a relatively excellent university to continue my postgraduate with a reputable major.Recently, i completed my postgraduate degree satisfactorily. Certainly, the willing to study abroad mainly result from the affection toward my major. The dissatifications from my relatives are just a small incentive to keep me go through the difficulty.

Those studying experience may not benefit me in the way of adjusting the society and balancing the relationship among people. Hence, i still regard myself as a kind of nerd or even a nerd without competent academic skills. I deeply know too much focus on my inner world and other people's responses is a destructive way to my life. I am overcoming those over-sensitivity and wishing that I could become firmer and nicier.