Years ago, I came across one article regarding some girls joining classes –how to find a rich man? and girls were in a big queue waiting for one super rich man choosing one beautiful girl. It doesn’t make sense to me at all. It seems to me a rich guy with money buying luxury stuff rather than waiting for Romantic true love happens.

It’s a bonus marrying a rich guy, that’s for sure,  however I can’t see it can bring you how much happiness, girls , you still need to be financially independent.

I have a very good example, one of my friends, a very lovely nice traditional Chinese lady, she got a master’s degree, for some reason, she didn’t try hard to find a full time job straight away after graduation. Instead of she married a nice gentleman who earn enough money to support family, after that she had 2 kids, she’s got really busy in taking care of her kids, preparing dinner and  lunch box for her husband, doing all the housework, I can accept that for a lady be responsible for the family.

A few days ago, I received a phone call from  my friend: “ I will leave Melbourne for a while, we have too much arguments since my in laws stay together with us, my kids don’t listen to me, my mother-in-law is very rude to me, my husband ignores me, I don’t think I belong to my family anymore.” Well, I think if she is  strong enough both on her mind and finance secure, then she probably can tell her mother-in-law: “ Thanks for taking care of my kids, this is my family, this is my life, I have my own way to raise my children. I would not mind if you visit us ,  please just enjoy your staying in Australia, I can look after my kids very well.” But my poor friend, as she relies on her husband  , she gets no voice,  she has no choice, she can’t do whatever she likes to do, even kids don’t listen to her.

I have one more extremely example. One my neighbour-an Aussie Man, he used to call himself “ God Among Man” . yes, I can’t  deny, he was very smart in being a doctor for running a successful clinical, earned  more money than  Prime Minister in Australia before getting injured from an accident. He  is particularly kind of man who girls looking for “ Rich, generous, know how to read girls mind with his outstanding English writing skills.”

One day , an accident happened to him, his clinical was broken over by a burglar, he was seriously injured, in the end , he had to shut down his business, went bankruptcy. After that  he got divorced because he thought his wife was crazy, who raised 100 cats at home with no job. He sold out the house( it’s as big as a mansion) ,moved into my apartment,  threw away the antique furniture which were completely damaged by the cats.

The story wasn’t over, as he has paid huge amount of money for insurance from his work, so he could get AUD7000/week from insurance company after getting injured ( that’s a huge amount, still more than what Australian prime minister  earns  per year).with the money, he can find whoever he likes, young , good looking girls, he can spoil them with his money.   Guess, what happened to his wife, a very pretty English women with 3 adult daughters got nothing, with a bit mental problem, she went to the hospital, with no job, no money.

I really doubt a woman can get secure from a guy who ever truly loved you before, things always change, a guy loved you once, doesn’t mean he will love you forever or probably you will sick of him very soon.  Only woman to be more independent , if a guy leaves you, then you can say: “ ok, no worries, enjoy yourself, that’s fine, it’s not absolutely bad for me, at least I have one more chance to find my own happiness.”

Yes, you can marry a rich man who gives you true love, however, you still need prepare to be financially  independent.

Our financial controller, one Aussie lady, her parents got divorced when she was little. Immediately, her dad found a girlfriend  who was the same age  when she was 20 because he was rich, her mum had to get centrelink benefit from government.  From my financial controller teenager experience, she knew that men cannot be counted on. Though she marries a rich man, driving BMW, she still works as hard as possible, at the same time, she’s raising 2 kids, working both at home and in the company, doing housework, it seems no any free time for her. Therefore, Even if  some unexpected things happen to her, she does not need worry, as she can still find a high- salary position in order to support herself.

Someone might argue: “ I am too busy, I have 1 or 2 kids to take care of , and housework, if my husband is rich, what’s the point for me go to work?”

I would like say no matter how busy, you still can handle it. Sally Hogshead, a mother of 8, become a professional speaker, who created her product: Fascinate, which is changing people’s life….Kerry, a mother of 3,  who was a medical doctor, quit the job, and created her product: streamlined life, now she’s getting students from 104 countries includes myself.

For ordinary people , like me, I was a mother of one, luckily my Dad was a successful business man, I did not need worry for not going to work in China , but I really couldn’t tell that’s the life I really wanted, … after  struggling  more than 10 years, eventually, I got started my new life in Australia…I passed IELTS test , became an overseas student, did part time cleaning job… handled huge difficulties, met a lot of lovely people, gradually, I discovered what was happiness---Happiness  is not gained from marrying one rich man, you should set up a goal, and work really hard towards it, on the way, you will experience something amazing…..

 I love what Tal Ben Shahar defined 3 secrets to Daily Joy and lasting fulfillment: Try to be happy today whilst look forward to achieving your dreams. Do you best to dedicate time to activities that can make you happy in the present and in the future. Don’t wait for everything to fall in place before you take your stab at happiness.

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