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there's no way getting upset for breaking up a relationship
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I used to see people were stressed out after breaking up a relationship: “Please please let me alone, I feel terribly bad.” They simply have no idea how to get over of it.
The world won’t be end if you break up a relationship with your boyfriend or a girlfriend, why you are so depressed after end up relationship because you put huge effort on the other side , however, you don’t get what you expected.
It is common if you have considered finding a partner more important than anything else you can do in the world, you stuck your mind on the others, stopping being yourself. Have you ever experienced things like this: sending text message all the time , if can’t receive message back, you will check your mobile every second of the time, or after one day, you still can’t find any single word. You might will be completely out of your mind, getting frustrated, anxious: “What’s wrong with it? Do I need to make a phone call? oh, nooo, just wait for a while.” Eventually, you will get very excited as there’s a message on your phone, it seems like the whole world is sunshine again.
In this case, your happy mood is totally affected by others, until one day, something happens, the relationship ends. You might feel triple upset than the happiness you’ve got, because you have put so much effort by getting nothing.
If someone can’t get over of it immediately, then they might complain: why the life is so unfair to me, my friend who is ugly than me can have such a lovely beautiful girl friend or a handsome boyfriend, why it’s not me?” They start residing in that negative thought, forgetting their parents who have ever spent so much time for taking care of them, ignoring the colourful autumn leaves or such nice spring flowers, stop joining activities they used to enjoy, with no contact with nice friends who ever talked with. There’s only one thing left on their mind--- I am the most miserable person in the world.
Here I am gonna tell you, happiness is a state of mind, no one else can help you , except you change it: get your mind out of sadness, discover hobbies you like and take action start doing it. eg, if you think you English is not good enough, why not spend 2 hours a day ,after 1 or 2 years, that will be more rewarding than the time you spend on a relationship but get nothing. Gradually, you will become much happier, as your mind is focus on something you really enjoy rather than a stupid relationship thing which drives you mental.
On the way, you’ll become a new confident you, you might lucky enough find a mind-like boy or a girl who fits you most, nobody like hang on a person who is full of negative thoughts, Time is short, you can’t afford to waste one more day, so start change from today….
Some quotes I enjoy:
· Everything happens for a reason, live it, love it, learn from it. Make your smile change the world, but don’t let the world change your smile.
· I will no longer allow the negative things in my life to spoil all of the good things I have. I choose to be happy.
· A true relationship is someone who accepts your past, supports your present, loves you and encourages your future.
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Post comment Comment (17 replies)
- Reply windie
- I can feel that you are quite sensible and positive. But it is not that easy to be as optimistic and determined as you, especially for one full of sensibility in the case of breaking up of a relationship. It is true that easier said than done. To put down is not easy for anyone. Life can only be undertood afterwards, so I believe you have experience a lot in respect of all kinds of relationship. For me, I think It is not the man or woman we couldn't put down, but the regret that we hadn't tried our best that made us unbale to let it go. The struggling and hesitation of To be or not to be is the most tormenting. The pain of failure after trying is temporary; but the pain of missing without trying is everlasting.
- Reply sweetolive
- You are right, the first step is the most difficult part, which I wrote in my blog: “you are not meant to be a lucky one”. You know, I was as hesitate as you in my 20s, so it took me more than 10 years to get out of the life which was arranged by others. Now I can to be myself, just do whatever I like, and stop doing what I hate.
windie: I can feel that you are quite sensible and positive. But it is not that easy to be as optimistic and determined as you, especially for one full of se ...
After realized my dream, I was deeply down again, probably more than anyone else here, I didn’t enjoy the beautiful seaside view, I never tried to go for a run in the rain forest, I didn’t join dance, no swimming, as I didn’t have a goal, I spent a lot of time in waiting for text messages, but I didn’t enjoy it, it only made me anxious, I can’t control my happiness. Until then, I find so many activities to do which I enjoy, and especially start writing blog, I feel my life is as fulfilled as the time I first arrived in Australia. So you can’t rely on other people give you happiness.
Probably you need some motivation to get out of your comfort zone, then your life will start…you don’t have to quit your job if you enjoy being there(if not enjoy, then you have to leave ASAP).
You may find one hobby, and doing it in your free time, and then another one….please experience the life you like. Just think about what you missed out in your childhood or your teenage, it is never too late to learn, I am a good example.
Barbara Sher said: “I want you to start from scratch building a life that fits you as you are—not as someone told you you’re supposed to be.
She said: “Going after a dream can make you feel like an orphan. I also see that I have a great need to be surrounded by interesting, independent people with strong opinions and lots of experiences.” I total agree, you should be stronger enough to get out of your comfortable life, be surrounded with someone who can support you, encourage you, to be a stronger, happier you. Good luck.
- Reply sweetolive
- by the way, all i wrote on the blog was my true feeling, i didn't listen to other people's story and told you that.
windie: I can feel that you are quite sensible and positive. But it is not that easy to be as optimistic and determined as you, especially for one full of se ...
- Reply teadrinking
- When it is gone, let it be. We still have to live and move on. Even though it is heartbroken while we can change nothing else but have it go.
Not only the relationship between girls and boys, there are many other experience we also have to envisage. Ups and downs, adversity and difficulties, all of those once made us misreable and disappointed.
The world still goes whatever we are doing and what kind of things we have met. To be good with ourselves.
- Reply Tange
- it is senstive , Everything happens for a reason, live it, love it, learn from it. Make your smile change the world, but don’t let the world change your smile.
- Reply sunnyv
- Sweetolive is the most decisive and clear minded girl here. I admire her passion towards a happy, fulfilled and meaningful life. Everyone needs to make some changes, sacrifice and adjustments in order to reach our desired lifestyle and she has done that.
There is no need to be sad about lost love relationships. Just remember;
God sometimes removes a person from your life for your protection.
Let go when there is no hope.”
- Reply sweetolive
- Thanks, Windie:
windie: I can feel that you are quite sensible and positive. But it is not that easy to be as optimistic and determined as you, especially for one full of se ...
I like this quote by Mark Twain: “ Twenty years from now, you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbour, catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore, Dream, Discover.
I would like suggest you read self-development books and do personality test, to see what lifestyle fits you most, you need to know what your dream is.
- Reply sweetolive
- Thanks, Teadrinking:
teadrinking: When it is gone, let it be. We still have to live and move on. Even though it is heartbroken while we can change nothing else but have it go.
Not onl ...
You sounds like a wise man, who has a positive attitude, so it would be much easier for you handle all the difficulties if it ever happens to you. Lucky you. :D
- Reply sweetolive
- Thanks, Tange:
Tange: it is senstive , Everything happens for a reason, live it, love it, learn from it. Make your smile change the world, but don’t let the world change ...
For me, quotes help heaps, it is like my allies, every time when I was deeply down, I would like spend time reading quotes over and over. I feel much happier after reading them, it has brought me out of darkness, my life has been changed in some way related to the quotes I read. It is my soul mate, who supports me, gives me energy, lights me up,.
Anyway, everyone is different, it suits me doesn’t mean it will make influence for you guys. You might encouraged by talking with someone, reading an inspiring book, watching movies, reading articles. Most important thing is stay with positive people and thing. Yes, I am married.
- Reply sweetolive
- Hi,Sunny:
sunnyv: Sweetolive is the most decisive and clear minded girl here. I admire her passion towards a happy, fulfilled and meaningful life. Everyone needs to mak ...
Thank you very much for your compliment. Actually , you are the most supportive one now for my English writing, thanks for your time and effort, I feel very lucky as I have just found passion for English writing, and you are here gives me encouragement and reading all my blogs in details, that helps a lot.
Yes, that’s true , where there’s no hope, it’s time to end.
I always believe, there’s no perfect one, but there’s one who suits you most, so go with some imperfect one who gives you perfect love.
- Reply windie
- Thanks to meeting you here, I will think over your suggestions. I do feel inspired and encouraged from your personal struggling experiences I read this morning. Moreover, thanks a trillion to you. After the failure experience no matter in respect of love or job, I kind of lose confidence in myself and get that inferior feeling which I'm desperately struggling to get out of but just find myself lack the courage to step out of the neither good nor bad condition, powerless and reluctant to change...
- Reply windie
- In fact, I myself have been infuriated at my indifference although sometimes I'm sympathetic with my mental sufferings as well, powerless and wordless. Thank you all the same.
sweetolive: Thanks, Windie:
I like this quote by Mark Twain: “ Twenty years from now, you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by th ...
- Reply Tange
- we could feel your sincerity , every comment has been replied fully .
sweetolive: Thanks, Tange:
For me, quotes help heaps, it is like my allies, every time when I was deeply down, I would like spend time reading quotes over and ov ...
- Reply sweetolive
- thank, Tange, i am glad to hear that :D
Tange: we could feel your sincerity , every comment has been replied fully .
- Reply sweetolive
- Thanks, Windie:
windie: Thanks to meeting you here, I will think over your suggestions. I do feel inspired and encouraged from your personal struggling experiences I read thi ...
In this case, you are luckier than me, at least you can talk with someone on internet, in my age, there’s no internet at all, even not many inspiring books I can find.
It’s hard for you to gain your self-confidence unless you are doing something really good at, then you will tell yourself: “ wow, I am excellent, I can do everything I want.” The first thing is find your talent, think about what you really like , and make action , start doing it. Once you make it, you will be very happy about yourself. After 8 hours’ work, you still have a lot of time pursuing your dream rather than wasting time telling yourself how bad you are, get upset yourself.
I will write some blogs later on, you will find I was in much worse situation than you in my education side, eventually, I got over of it. now I gain self-confidence. if I can do, there’s no reason you can’t do it.
Don’t worry about breaking relationship etc, someone leaves you doesn’t mean you are incapable, probably that person just not suits you, there are sooo many wonderful guys in the world, you still have heaps opportunities, for me, I will still happy, as I will have one more chance to find a better one which fits me most. And you can experience more, which enrich your life experience.
