Last Saturday, I received a kind message after my article was posted: “I like your writing, but you do need a proof-reader, just for those small mistakes in grammar and syntax.”

One year ago, if I have received such message, I would be wondered: Did I need one or not? Absolutely, that would make my article look more attractive.

That time, I was a perfectionist; the only thing matters to me were the perfect result: Look, everyone, how good my English was.

Now, I am becoming an optimalist after a few months' reading and writing.

I understand, if I post one beautiful article, that will catch readers attention—wow, I admire your writing skill very much, you are so talented , your English writing is as good as native speakers.

While I am pleasing others, I will be discouraged and gradually lose self-confidence of myself.

For one more reason, I would have no clue, whether my readers are really interested in my own words or someone else’s.

Therefore, I’d better post the one I write no matter how many mistakes have been made, because the main purpose for my writing is that I enjoy the learning process of getting there- the journey.

One day, if my English writing reaches certain level, I would be true happy and very proud of myself: “ Wow, excellent!! "

Actually, at the moment, there’s one very kind Aussie gentleman who is voluntary making corrections for my writing, but as I mentioned I would not post the better version , I prefer my original one which is not that perfect.

However,I do appreciate his kindness as I am learning things from the mistakes he corrected.

I prefer being independent as I have learnt one thing, you can never rely on someone else if you would like to achieve your goals; you may accept their help but can’t take it for granted.

Harshness

The perfectionist can be extremely hard on herself, as well as on others.

The optimalist, takes responsibility for her mistakes and learn from her failures, but she also accepts that making mistakes and experiencing failure are unavoidable.

-        Tal Ben Shahar –

When I go swimming, I am always trying to avoid one man, who’s standing along one side of the swimming pool and telling beginners what mistakes they are making.

I do like paid swimming lessons, and I am very happy when the teacher point out what’s wrong with my arm movements.

I feel grateful as I can make improvement by following the teacher’s instructions and practice after swimming classes.

When swimming starts, I am afraid of eye contact with that guy as he’s so eager to tell everyone how to swim.

That’s a good thing for his kindness; the problem is I really wanna practice by myself within a limited time.

Once I starts listening to him, he would never stop talking. What a time wasting!!!

I even haven’t practiced the one that was taught on the class, which one I should follow, my teacher or the guy?

Obviously, he’s looking for perfection as he treats me like a professional, but I am a beginner, I just enjoy swimming.

One day, he told me that my feet were not put in the right position for breaststroke.

If I followed his idea, I would have sunk into the bottom of the swimming pool because when I focused on my feet, I would have no idea how to use my arms and to be worse I would forget how to swim at all.

How painful!!!

I don’t think I can use my feet perfectly to do breaststroke within a few practices.(My swimming teacher told me I was doing great!!)

I will lose interests at the end by keep reminding myself how stupid and bad my feet position is; I probably will give up very soon.

I like what Henry David Thoreau said: "The fault-finder will found faults even in paradise, and thereby miss the joys that recognition of the positives bring."

One day, I was practicing breaststroke, the one I have just learnt on the class.

I overheard he’s telling other swimmers how incorrect their arm and feet movements were, I told myself: “Please don’t look at him.”

Eventually, he found me and shouted: “Hey, please stop your breaststroke, your feet movements were wrong, I suggest you only practice your free style.”

What? You are not even a teacher; you have discouraged me a lot for your high standard while I was having a relaxing swimming and being happy for the achievement I have made.

I have gained self-confidence and eventually moved onto the advanced level for swimming because my teachers are always trying to encourage us by saying: “Excellent, well done.” 

On the other hand, I do appreciate the mistakes teachers told me in a kind way. 

I don’t think my swimming can reach a certain level without the patience of the teachers watching out my movements and making corrections.

As an optimalist, I will enjoy the journey no matter how many mistakes I have made for writing, and how incorrect my feet movements are, I will focus on the big picutre. 

I don't care too much about when I can reach the destination, I only concern whether I gain pleasure from the things I am doing at the moment or not.

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