NuHanZi

NuHanZi is a very popular slang term in China, if a woman who is financial and emotional independence, who can deal with most of the difficulties in personal life and do things on her own without relying on a man, it is likely the girl will be called NuHanZi, literally meaning a manly woman.

I am not touched by the name: NuHanZi, it is just like call someone unmarried: “Leftover men, leftover women.” This  sounds pretty rough, not nice.

A single woman who has been overseas for years is becoming NuHanZi.

A spoiled child in China 

Being a spoiled child in China for doing nothing at all, someone even has never thrown a rubbish bag or knows how to use a vacuum cleaner, let alone doing housework, cooking or paying bills, that’s not her business.

A girl who only focuses on studying, studying so that she can get high marks in order to enter into a reputable uni and find a decent job.

One day, she leaves her parents and settles down in a completely new country.

There are two choices: she can either return back to China or being independent surviving in a new world.

To be independent in Australia 

Therefore, from the first day she arrives in Australia, she has to rely on herself. For example, renting a house, buying furniture, shopping, doing laundry, paying bills and finding a part time job while doing a full-time study.

She gives up princess life in China to be a Cinderella in Australia.

In addition, the girl has limited time shopping, no time for makeup, hands are getting rougher, she could be careless about fashionable clothes and it is normal to use an out-of-date mobile.

Emily 

My friend, Emily, in one Chinese term: White, Rich and Beautiful.

Can you image, one day when I visited her, you know, what she’s doing? She’s assembling furniture.

“Wow, you are so smart, that would definitely kill me, I don't think I can handle it”. I said.

By the way, now I can fix small problems for dishwasher, washing machine even toilet while I did not know how to change a light bulb when I was in China.

Because it’s too expensive to find someone to do it in Australia,  there's no choice.

Now I feel multi-talented, haha.

An independent woman could also be elegant for wearing high heels, dress nicely, enjoys life as much as she can, but her mission is not only caring for a specific man, it’s like without the man, the whole life is over, she has her own lifestyle and standard.

a left-over woman in China 

When Emily goes back to China, she’s becoming a left-over woman.

Most successful guys in their 30s are getting married, the younger ones who are either living with Mum or they are quite unwilling to accept a girl who earns a higher salary with an overseas background, especially who is open-minded.

They prefer a girl who is still playing a traditional wife role, who can take care of them, who can get along very well with mother-in-law after married.

They would like a girl with a beautiful face than with an independent mind.

For Emily, she doesn’t care about  the property, financial things because she can earn money by herself.

She’s looking for someone who understands her, gives her care emotionally, puts her in mind, who can be a responsible future husband.

However, she definitely doesn’t like a man who loves her money or her Australian citizenship, so she hides her family and overseas background when she’s in China.

Because she’s looking for an honest, sincere man who gives her true love, who loves her as a person, who can talk with, having fun for being together.

In China, as a single child, most young men are spoilt by parents, he is mum’s boy. Therefore, if a girl with strong opinions, the guy simply has no idea, which side he stands for, Mum or future wife.

Emily

That would be hard for Emily to get along with mum-in-law, with kind of western value, she suggests after marriage, the family life is just between husband and wife, Mum-in-law is not supposed to disturb the couple's personal life.

Future Mum-in-law

With completely traditional Chinese value—future mum-in-law is expecting future daughter-in-law taking care of her husband: "after you marry my son, you are part of my family, I am still in charge of it, I buy an apartment for your marriage, I raise my son with so much effort."

"The time I married my husband, I listened to my mum-in-law for so many years. Now my son will have a wife who would like to ignore me. That makes me angry, absolutely, I would not allow my son to have such an open mind girl."

Emily

That’s funny, I don’t care you buy your son an apartment or not, I only wanna to be with one person, just considering my future husband is so weak, everything listens to Mum, being mum’s lovely boy, then where’s me?

I’d better stay alone than having trouble for dealing with such complicated relations, that would drive me mad.

Independent successful businessmen in China

For those independent men, who are over 30 being successful, most of them are married, as they are rich, so they are sought after by all the girls.

Those men prefer beautiful girls, Emily is beautiful, but she’s not keen on a successful businessman. Because she doesn’t like someone being home so late every day, getting drunk after business dinner with clients. To be worse, after marriage, he could easily find a younger lover which is popular and could be seldom with his wife.

He cares more about money; he’d better buy Emily a luxury bag than spending time on her. 

But Emily doesn’t lack money; she only wants someone who can spoil her with time and care.

Meet a western guy in China

Eventually, one day, Emily meets a cute handsome western guy in China.

Yes, they can communicate in English and get along very well, he’s working in Emily’s hometown, what a good chance!!!

After a while, Emily realises that they have the different needs.

Emily wanna find a proper husband and having kids, the western guy just wanna having fun because he doesn’t know his future so he can’t make a commitment to the marriage.