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Invitation for dinner but I had to pay for unknown people
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A lady friend of mine Judy invited me for dinner. It was to celebrate the 5th anniversary of knowing her boyfriend. She choose the restaurant and told me don't bring any gifts, just come to eat and enjoy the evening. Her boyfriend and her three other friends came too, so there are totally 6 people including me. Four of these people I have never met before and don't know them. It was a happy dinner, we talked and joked happily. At the end of the dinner, my lady friend Judy asked the waiter to bring the bill. The bill for 480 Yuan came and Judy gave it to her boyfriend for payment, however, to everyone's surprise, her boyfriend looked unhappy, got up and went to the bathroom. 5 minutes later he came back and saw the bill still in front of him. I then overheard her boyfriend arguing with Judy that everyone should pay own share and not all he pay. All the other people at the table was surprised because their understanding was that Judy's boyfriend was paying.
Everyone should be told in advance if it is a shared dinner but they did not say so. Everyone looked surprised and was not willing to pay for it. Judy did not have enough money with her and looked angrily at her boyfriend but still he was unwilling to pay. Looks like a big argument would happen between Judy, her boyfriend and others. Just to avoid embarrassing Judy, I took out my wallet and paid for the bill. One week passed and Judy still did not return the money to me. Later I met one of the people who came to the dinner and told her about this. They said this is unreasonable and they offered to get the money back for me. In the end, it was everyone paid for their own share and I got 400 Yuan back.
This is not about money because it was only 480 Yuan and I can afford to pay for it. It is about commonsense, face, respect and honesty. Do you think this is a plan to cheat or because Judy has a lousy boyfriend?
Everyone should be told in advance if it is a shared dinner but they did not say so. Everyone looked surprised and was not willing to pay for it. Judy did not have enough money with her and looked angrily at her boyfriend but still he was unwilling to pay. Looks like a big argument would happen between Judy, her boyfriend and others. Just to avoid embarrassing Judy, I took out my wallet and paid for the bill. One week passed and Judy still did not return the money to me. Later I met one of the people who came to the dinner and told her about this. They said this is unreasonable and they offered to get the money back for me. In the end, it was everyone paid for their own share and I got 400 Yuan back.
This is not about money because it was only 480 Yuan and I can afford to pay for it. It is about commonsense, face, respect and honesty. Do you think this is a plan to cheat or because Judy has a lousy boyfriend?
Post comment Comment (19 replies)
- Reply sunnyv
- shimizu:Yep, that is what I was thinking too. Feel sorry for Judy having to take all this embarrassment in front of friends.
,Your lady friend's boyfriend was lousy.I am behind you.
- Reply snowflying
- my friend,your experience and real story is some thoughtful.the main content and topic is not the money itself at all.i think money should survice for ourselves. otherwise,we labour hard for earning more money,what's we wanna do? money itself is not guilty.money itself has not feelings certainly.but when we people meet money,more and more things happeded,some hopeful,some sharing,some arguing,some cheating,some holdng.i engage in a job which our clerks contact with money everyday,hearing many storied about money too.i think,your action is worthy of praise,you did a good deed,though you losed 400yuan.from your action,i saw your kindness,your magnanimous character.but to your lady friend and her boyfriend,i really seem have nothing to asy,even no worth wasting any words.their action like a rogue,hurt their friends,the same damaged theirselves though they saved 480yuan.such a small number,they can do like this way,how long they can do their future? how far can they manage their future? how well can they enjoy their future? a certain future would appear what we can imagine.don't be care more like this small thing.my friend.
- Reply sunnyv
- snowflying: my friend,your experience and real story is some thoughtful.the main content and topic is not the money itself at all.i think money should survice forGlad to note your well balanced and deep insight about money. Agree with you. Some friends say I have been "used or cheated", so that is why I aired my displeasure here.
- Reply snowflying
- sunnyv: Glad to note your well balanced and deep insight about money. Agree with you. Some friends say I have been "used or cheated", so that is whyoh,i see.your friend's words and judgement influenced your thinking even influenced your happy mood.right or not my say? if right,that's our human being's shortcoming,most of people easy to listen to others,and judge ourseleves' viewpoints shaking with others.so-called " a little piece of grass on the wall",so-called follows up tne most ones in psychology.so what friends appears vital in our lifetime.especially to a young person.my friend.
- Reply sunnyv
- snowflying: oh,i see.your friend's words and judgement influenced your thinking even influenced your happy mood.right or not my say? if right,that's our human beiThe main purpose is for fairness and justification. The most unhappy thing about this is the boyfriends disregard of his girlfriend's feelings and his shamelessness.
- Reply lwj2k8
- It is easier to destroy than build up a relationship, especially involves money and women. Actually, I don really think it is totally her boy's responsibility, instead, your friend Judy perhaps made the decision by herself without talking to her boy in advance. Of course, his action hurted your friend so deep. It is actually a pity to put such a happy time into this kind of ending......Anyway, good luck!
- Reply sunnyv
- lwj2k8: It is easier to destroy than build up a relationship, especially involves money and women. Actually, I don really think it is totally her boy's responAgree. The boy should handle it better to lessen the hurt for his girlfriend. He can say, oh I thought it was a shared dinner so I did not bring much money, but he did not even do this. Clearly, he does not care about the relationship with his girlfriend.
- Reply Sheena1208
- Unbelievable! You friend Judy's boyfriend is too mean. We often say a man should be a gentleman, seems that he is not a gentleman. How can Judy tolerate such a stingy boyfriend? If he cared about Judy's feeling, the atomosphere would not be that embarassed.
- Reply rich
- generally, it should be the young couple, though they are married yet, to pay for the dinner. after all she invited you on behalf of them both. if it is to be a shared dinner, it should be made clear in advance, as you said.
however, i feel a liitle confused: did your lady friend consult with her boyfriend about the dinner party and finally reach an agreement? is there any problems in their relationship? i have this feeling that the boyfriend doesn't care much about her while your lady friend wanted to secure the relationship by holding this dinner party.
in either case, it is not proper for you guys to share the bill.
- Reply sunnyv
- rich: generally, it should be the young couple, though they are married yet, to pay for the dinner. after all she invited you on behalf of them both. if itSeems my lady friend assumed that the boyfriend would be paying and never imagined he would refuse to pay. They have to state clearly if it is a shared meal and in that case, everyone would have the right to select the restaurant, people attending and the estimated cost. Although they said gifts were not necessary, we still gave her gift cheques and gifts. Indeed, it seems her boyfriend does not have much concern for her feelings and embarrassment.
- Reply sunnyv
- Sheena1208: Unbelievable! You friend Judy's boyfriend is too mean. We often say a man should be a gentleman, seems that he is not a gentleman. How can Judy toleraThe way it happened, I believe Judy never thought that her boyfriend would refuse to pay. He is just too petty and caused such embarrassent to her girlfriend. In a way, it is good for Judy to see through her boyfriend who clearly don't care about her feelings.
- Reply kimhope
- I was once invited to enjoy hotpot by one of my friends, but i was late for the meal~~~when i came, it was almost the end of the meal~~~I sat for a moment and had a cup of cola , then my friend whispered to me that she haven't got enough money and i was shocked at that moment~~~~Finally, i paid for the meal without eating anything~~~To be honest, i was really unhappy at that time, but as time went by, It turns to be nothing~~~
- Reply sunnyv
- kimhope: I was once invited to enjoy hotpot by one of my friends, but i was late for the meal~~~when i came, it was almost the end of the meal~~~I sat for a moIt is not the money. It is the uncomfortable feeling of being used or taken for a ride. Glad to note your generosity.
- Reply lijuanandrea
- lack of communion, if we go out for dinner with friends, usually the one who invite others pay for it
- Reply sunnyv
- lijuanandrea: lack of communion, if we go out for dinner with friends, usually the one who invite others pay for itCommunication seems not to be the problem here. Clearly we have a stingy and uncaring boyfriend who does not care about the "face" of his girlfriend. I and everyone there could have refused to pay but I paid just to save the girl's embarrassment. Can't understand how a guy can have such thick skin.
- Reply lijuanandrea
- if I was the girl, I will break up with him, I really can't imagine how they are get along with eache other
- Reply shirleyytt2010
- You were invited for dinner and judy's boyfriend was unwilling to pay.This is too bad, in my view, I guess her bf is very mean and make the embrassment siutation.
