In workplaces of China, employees are forbidden to talk about salaries, for the employers don't want to accused of being unfair or cause unhappiness among the staff. However, gossip about how much one earns won't stop just for that.

    I never hide my salary from my classmates and friends, nor lie about it. When I told them how much I would make each month on the first job, they all admired me and put me on the list of "excellet graduate with a promissing future". Thanks to my prescious self-esteem and lack of social experience, I left the job that I was once so proud of just because I couldn't tolerate my supervisor's bad temper and feel unhappy in that working environment. Rushly, namely just one day after I left the first company, I accepted the offer of a second job---a small local company. Although the job contents were all the same, but the pay was much much lower, but somehow, I chose to accept it. To take a revenge? To prove that I am a hot cake on the market? To earn bread because I had no savings after graduation? To grow together with the company bcause I really like people working there? Maybe all are true. Then problems kept popping up: lack of systematic trainings, improper judgements and handling of internal disputes due to the absence of guidelines and Code of Conduct, wages not paid on time, bonus scheme underway forever (I got zero as the bonus after left B company almost half a year later), limited source of clients...My patience was wearing out and passion fade away, almost the second day after I uploaded my CV on the internet, I received a call from C company for an interview. Then here I am, a translator in the General Manager Office, together with another postgraduate girl.

    It's also in this C company where I began to feel peer pressures. The other translator L came to the company earlier than me, so basically, the boss will take her to all meetings. Although I was given opportunities to interprete meetings once or twice last year, my performance couldn't convince the boss---look nervous, response not quick enough, lack of professional logistics knowledge, not good at making a joyful atmosphere? I don't know. Maybe the boss is just customed to having L as the translator, no matter how tired L might be, he seems just don't want anybody to replace her. Even though she got a better education background than me, technically, I think I will be qualified for the interpretation, given equal time and chances to practise and improve. Here, readers may guess " then you must be at leisure in your work". But the answer is no. When L is away for a meeting, I have to deal with all emails and document translation, which is not a problem for me, because I like being busy. The problem is that I don't think I get well paid. Especially compared with those who do nothing but viewing sina blogs, internet articles, QQ zones at normal work time, but lagging and leaving their work to the end of the day, pretending to work OT, but still obtain over 7K each month; I, who always finish work timely and efficiently and never hesitate or shy away from tough work seem to have been treated rather unfairly---only 4K!!! Just because they have worked for more years, or they are on a higher position, or they are better at performing? Shouldn't the worth of an employee be evaluated according to what she is capable of doing and how much work she has actually done?

    Peer pressure also come from their partners. Together with another five or six girls who live in the same district with me, we ofter hang out or have fun in KTV or one of our homes. From time to time, we'll reveal our boy friend's money-making abilities. V's BF, 27 years old, 30K/month; R's, 31 years old, 18K; H's, 26, 6-7K; Y's, 25, probably 5-6K; and mine? I want to cry...even though today is his birthday---24 years old, waiting for employment (only 3K on his previous job). A situation like us, I can't imagine what we'll have to face if we get engaged just like our parents suggested. No wonder my boy friend was frightened to wake up by a nightmare twice last night that I got pregnant by accident but he wasn't even able to buy the milk powder and diapers.

    Today, a very good friend of mine called and asked me about my plan for future: when get engaged, whether I will purchase real estate in Shenzhen, will I work for others here for the rest of my life... These were issues once so far away from me, but now, I really have to think about it. Stop comparing figures with others, cause that will bring me nothing but a feeling of inferiority and helpless. Stop complaining about the company won't offer equal opportunities to me, maybe I should better weapon myself with professional logistics knowledge and interpretation skills in my spare time and jump out the next time when a meeting is open to me. Stop using excuses such as "I'm so tired", "I want to rest my eyes and sleep" etc., because to a willing heart, a thirst learner, a temporarily underprivileged girl who urgently wants to live a better life, I must resist all these temptations and improve myself from listenning (English news or talks), reading (financial management books) , memorizing (business updates and vocabularies) and simulating conferences. Stop grand slogans and endless plans, act from this moment today.